After a divorce, a custody agreement is an important way to ensure all parties involved know what their responsibilities are for the kids.

What would you do if your ex always tried to get you to take your child during their time and even made up lies to get you to do it?

That is the situation the ex-wife in this story is in, so she is telling him she won’t watch their child, even though her ex says it is to spend time with his dying father.

Check it out and see whether or not you agree.

AITA for not being more flexible with custody with my ex’s SUPPOSEDLY dying dad?

My empathetic side is struggling with this, so I need your help deciding whether I did the right thing or not:

Backstory: My (38 F) ex and I (38 M) were married for 5 years.

Our whole relationship, he was verbally, sexually and emotionally abusive, manipulative, and was notorious for lying and embellishing to get what he wants.

He has a long history of this, and I finally left 2 years ago.

This must be very difficult.

We have a small child together, which we share 50/50 custody.

He has narcissistic personality disorder and possible also borderline personality disorder.

Before we separated, I had my child almost 100% of the time.

I have always been the primary parent and the one who does not make plans if I cannot take my child with me.

Sounds like the ex just doesn’t want to grow up.

My ex, on the other hand, can go wherever he wants whenever he wants, including but not limited to: working overtime everyday, going on vacations and trips on his custody weekends, and always assuming i’ll take care of my child.

He’s not wrong, I love my boy so much and my life does revolve around him.

However now that we are divorced and have a custody schedule (2-2-3, with the 3 having alternating weekends with our son), I still find myself picking up his slack every time he is supposed to have our child or pick him up.

What a terrible person to lie about this type of thing.

Here is where I question myself: A few weeks ago, his dad (75 M) SUPPOSEDLY got diagnosed with a brain tumor.

I say supposedly because he has lied about his dad having cancer last year to try and gain empathy before our divorced was settled.

Two weekends ago (on his custody weekend), I agreed to watch our child so he could go on vacation (this was supposedly before his dad’s diagnosis).

He did send me pictures earlier this week of his dad having stitches in his head, but we facetimed him this weekend (my weekend) and his dad seemed in good spirits.

This seems very reasonable.

Yesterday, he told me he needed my help this weekend (mind you, I haven’t had a weekend off in a month and it is mother’s day this weekend).

I told him I couldn’t help but my mom said she could watch him in the morning into the evening (not overnight since he doesn’t do well without me there at night).

He refused because he made excuses about his dad dying and wanting to spend all his time with him and needing to chauffeur his mother and sister (who both can drive).

He called me heartless because I wasn’t willing to drop every thing to watch our kid over night.

Holding boundaries is important.

I don’t believe him, and I think he is making excuses to try to ruin my weekend (which is filled with stuff I both need to do and committed to doing, all important).

The other reason I said no was because I need to hold boundaries with him as he is known for expecting me to change everything to “help” him.

I want to reiterate that he is a liar and that if I believed him I would have dropped everything.

However his history shows that he is a liar.

So, AITA for refusing to drop everything to watch our child?

Why not call his dad and check if he is really sick?

Either way, holding boundaries sounds like it is necessary here.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about it.

Yes, set firm expectations.

Yeah, why can’t he take the child with him?

Yup, get proof of what he is doing.

I would definitely be calling his family.

Yes, document everything.

It seems like this guy doesn’t even want to be a parent, but also doesn’t want to pay child support.

What kind of person lies about a parent having cancer?

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.