It feels terrible when you’re there for a friend, but they’re not there for you when you need them.

In this woman’s case, she realized she needed to distance herself from a friend after feeling drained for always supporting her and not getting much in return.

Now she’s wondering if she’s in the wrong.

Let’s analyze the situation.

AITA for emotionally distancing myself from my roommate and friend after years of being her emotional support system?

Hi Reddit, I (28, f) have been living with my friend who’s also my roommate (25, f) for over two years.

When she moved in, she was in a toxic situationship with a guy who didn’t want to commit, played mind games, and treated her terribly.

For over two years, I was her main emotional support system, listening to endless rants about him, comforting her after fights, helping her process things, and giving her advice she never listened to.

That’s annoying enough, but it wasn’t all.

To be honest, the relationship was one-sided.

I’m an introvert and a student who values alone time, and I communicated this clearly multiple times.

She’s extremely clingy, needs constant social interaction, and would constantly pressure me to hang out, even when I said I needed to study or rest.

She’d say stuff like “I’m working for the next 3 hours, you’ll be done by then, I want to spend time with you, no excuses” completely disregarding my boundaries.

She demanded attention and treated her like a therapist.

Almost every conversation we had was about her ex.

When I finally opened up about how I was feeling burned out, emotionally drained, and unheard, she barely took it seriously.

She said she’d change but didn’t. She’d still corner me for “just one more thing,” and I’d end up stuck in another hour-long venting session.

She recognized the need for a change in their dynamic.

Eventually, I started distancing myself.

I stopped initiating conversations, avoided her when I could, and started staying at my parents’ place more.

She noticed and asked why our friendship wasn’t the same.

She had no clue.

I explained that I was overwhelmed and needed space.

She gave a lukewarm acknowledgment and went back to her usual ways a week later.

Even after her ex broke up with her, and she jumped straight into a new relationship (then said she wanted the ex back again), the cycle continued.

It never stopped. I finally decided I was done.

But her “friend” did not understand her side of the story.

I haven’t told her outright that the friendship is over, but I keep my distance and avoid interaction.

Still, I feel guilty, especially when I’m home and see her struggling again.

But I also know that she never listened, never gave me the same support back, and consistently ignored my needs.

AITA?

She established boundaries, and this might help them have a healthier friendship in the future.

Let’s see how Reddit feels about this.

This comment sums it up.

A reader shares their thoughts.

Another reader chimes in.

Excellent observations.

Yup.

Exactly.

You can’t pour from an empty cup.

And her friend dried her cup and doesn’t even seem to care.

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