When someone shares a secret with you, it is important to keep it private unless you get permission to share it.

When his friend told him that he had cancer, he asked that he not share it with anyone at all.

Now that everyone in this story knows about the diagnosis, his girlfriend is mad that he didn’t tell her before.

Was he right to keep the secret? Let’s read all the details.

AITA for not telling my gf about our mutual friend’s cancer diagnosis?

I (M18) have a friend who was recently diagnosed with cancer.

I won’t get into the specifics of his condition but he called me to tell me about a month ago.

In that call, he told me to promise to not tell anyone as he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do and didn’t want anyone to treat him differently.

I can see why she is upset by this, but she needs to respect his loyalty.

Recently he started treatment (although the situation is dire) and my gf (F18) found out (they’re also friends with each other).

I don’t know how but she also learned that I was the only one who knew besides his mum.

It isn’t up to her or the other friends to decide who knows.

She got really mad that I didn’t tell her and kept it a secret, and a lot of our mutual friends also said it was a bad thing to do, because they would’ve wanted to support him earlier and treated him better.

I just countered that I promised, and all my friends know that I believe a man never goes back on his word. Also, I assumed he wanted me to keep it a secret to avoid the pity and attention.

I talked about this to him and while he supports me, he was also curious how other people would view it.

So, am I the AH?

He did the right thing. If he wanted to tell his girlfriend, he would have needed to get permission first. Or told his friend that he would be sharing it before he told anyone the secret.

Let’s see what the people in the comments on Reddit have to say about this.

This person says the friends sound selfish.

This commenter sums it up perfectly.

Exactly, it is not his secret to share.

This person says that he made a promise and he kept it.

This person says to stand by his friend.

How can you trust someone who tells you someone else’s secrets?

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.