Deciding where things go when a loved one passes away is never fun or easy.

And sometimes, the disputes can arise years later.

WIBTA if I didn’t lend my sister my mom’s wedding ring?

My (37f) parents divorced when I was 5.

At some point when we were young adults, my sister (32f) got my dad’s wedding band and I got my mom’s (kinda matching).

She wore my dad’s every day.

I wear my mom’s occasionally (side note: not because I don’t like it, but because I change my jewelry often and I have 2 young kids and don’t have the time always to switch it up).

Then there was a very unfortunate incident on a plane:

My dad passed away 3 years ago and it’s been hard on everyone, but my sister has taken it pretty poorly (she lives on another continent and didn’t see him much in his last months).

About 2 years ago, my sister took her ring off on a plane to apply moisturizer to her eczema and I’m not sure exactly what happened but she lost it.

I think she forgot she had taken it off and she never put it back on.

She was devastated by this because of the memory she had of my dad but also because she rly just liked the ring.

Understandably, our protagonist is hesitant.

She is coming into town and has now asked me if she could take my mom’s ring for a year and she promises to never take it off.

I feel this is unfair, she lost hers and now she wants to take mine and how can I trust she won’t lose it as well?

Is the division of labor and goods fair enough?

She resents that I have more items of my dad, but that’s because I was the only child that emptied his whole apt when he passed.

She didn’t help at all and basically said it was too hard for her and she couldn’t step foot in his apt again.

I was the executor so I guess it was more on me, but I spent weekends on end doing manual labour while with a toddler and being 6 months pregnant.

This last bit isn’t that relevant but sheds a bit of light

WIBTA if I told her “no sorry, I can’t risk you lose this ring too”?

Let’s see what the comments have to say:

Some preached extreme caution:

Others said what’s fair is fair.

Some even suggested some cheeky deceit. No way that backfires, right?

Personally, I think a situation like this does call for a simple “no.”

“I’m sorry, this means too much to me,” is a kinder explanation than “you might lose it.”

IF an explanation is even warranted.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.