It’s always frustrating when someone asks a question even though they’re very clearly not ready to accept one of the two answers.

But it’s ALSO frustrating when someone answers a question and then gets upset when that answer is accepted.

Check out the details on this one and judge for yourself.

AITA for asking if I could join my brother and his girlfriend on vacation? Maybe I shouldn’t have asked at all?

Every year I usually go on vacation with my brother and his girlfriend.

Last summer, for example, I did one trip with them and then we went separate ways, they continued somewhere else, and I traveled alone.

We had a great time and I was hoping to do the same this year.

At first this might seem like butting in…

They had two trips planned for the end of July and August.

I asked my brother if I could join one of the two, and he said it was fine and that he would be happy to have me.

Later, I considered joining them for both trips, since I couldn’t find other destinations that really interested me.

Due diligence seems to have been done.

My brother said it was okay with him but that I should check with his girlfriend.

So I called her and explicitly asked, multiple times, if she was okay with it.

I even told her clearly that she could say no and I wouldn’t be offended. She assured me it was fine.

But then came the reveal.

Later, my brother admitted to me that she actually didn’t want me there (at least not for the second trip).

I got really upset and I haven’t spoken to her for a few weeks.

What bothers me the most is that she acts like nothing happened, like she didn’t lie or pretend.

I feel hurt and excluded, especially because I was open and respectful and would have been totally fine if she just said no.

Let’s see what the comments say:

A lot of blame was put on the brother.

And a lot of folks wondered why they’d even tried this.

Like, what’s the whole idea?

Personally, I can see the point in all these perspectives. However, one thing that came up a lot was that the girlfriend was “being nice.”

I think “nice,” and “polite,” are different things. It may be polite to tell someone they’re welcome to come along, but it’s not nice to lie about that, knowing you’re going to retract it later.

Sometimes the nice thing to do is be disappointingly honest.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.