Anyone who’s worked a dead-end job has probably wanted to pull a Jerry Maguire from time to time.

But in this story, one bold employee actually did it… even if it was only a joke.

Imagine dealing with a customer who has an unreasonable request. Then imagine responding in such a dramatic way that the customer is left speechless.

Let’s clock in (and out) of this one…

The time I fooled a woman into thinking I quit

It’s about 4:55PM, and I had been scheduled for a 9:30 to 5PM shift.

My management is lenient with it. If the replacement cashier is here and it’s quiet, you can leave no more than five minutes early, but I never do that since it technically reduces how much you’re paid.

At around 4:58 I’m prepping to leave, and chatting with my other cashier. We’re in the slowest department in the store so I can afford to take a few minutes.

The customer didn’t seem so crazy at first.

Cue crazy woman. (CW)

CW: Hi, I have a return?

Me: Sure! Can I just see the receipt real quick?

CW: Oh, I forgot it at home.

Happens all the time… nothing OP can’t handle, right?

Now this is okay, since if you paid via card, or have a rewards account, we can look you up for the return.

Me: Oh that’s okay, do you have a rewards account with us?

CW: Yes, my number is XXX-XXX-XXXX.

Me: Great, I’ll just scan the item to look up the receipt.

The order doesn’t appear.

Hmm, curiouser and curiouser.

Me: The order didn’t show up; did you use a different phone number?

CW: Yes, try YYY-YYY-YYYY or ZZZ-ZZZ-ZZZZ.

Neither of these work.

Me: None of those two numbers worked either. When did you buy the item?

Time for an insane answer!

CW: I bought it for my nephew’s birthday in 2011.

Me: Well unfortunately we have a 30-day return policy, so even if I were to try to force it through, I would need some form of proof of purchase, which is purged from the system 6 months after the purchase.

CW (raised voice, attracting the attention of my coworker): You mean to tell me that I can’t return this??

Uhhhh… duh?

Me: Un…fortunately the computer won’t allow me.

CW: Can SHE do it? (pointing to my coworker)

Me: No, not even the district manager can do it. I can provide a phone number you can call to see-

CW: Well maybe you’re both just too stupid to work here!

Obvious conclusion. Is OP gonna take this lying down?

I look at my coworker and unseen by the customer, I wink and give a smirk. I turn back to face the customer.

Me: You’re right! I should leave. Please tell everyone I quit, would you?

I proceed to take off my nametag and place it in the drawer, clock out, and walk out.

I text my coworker later and she tells me that the woman was speechless and apologized for the insults before leaving.

I’m speechless too.

Maybe the comments on Reddit have something to say.

This person says you’re never too old… to return something.

Someone else is baffled by this customer’s request.

Another poster has some fanfic about the interaction…

One poster just says, gold.

This poster is like, why tho?

Nothing like  quitting in style… and then still being employed!

If you liked that story, check out this post about an oblivious CEO who tells a web developer to “act his wage”… and it results in 30% of the workforce being laid off.