Just because you marry into a family, doesn’t mean you’ll jive with them.

What would you do if your in-laws didn’t like you no matter how hard your tried to get along with them? Would you keep trying, or would you match their behavior?

This Redditor considers swapping kindness for vengeance with her in-laws. Is that the right thing to do?

Read the story below to get a better idea.

AITAH for matching energy with my in-laws?

My in-laws have always been disinterested in me, to the point of them borderline hating me with the heat of a thousand suns.

They are anti-vax and conspiracy theorists who home school.

I am a 29-year-old female, on the ASD spectrum and have had all my vaccines my entire life, I went to a mainstream school and am from a below the poverty line background.

I am studying teaching and working in a school, running my own small business AND caring for my husband, 35, male who has a lifelong medical condition.

However, the mother-in-law recently had an odd request.

Recently, my MIL has asked me to change my name on all social media to omit my married name.

In the last nearly 6 years that I have been with my partner, I have cooked for family functions, supported my sister in laws own business ventures, cleaned and cooked for the entire family during a time of tragedy, knitted items for my husband’s nieces and nephews and tried to generally be there for all of his siblings and his parents.

This has been often met with open hostility.

And it started with their wedding…

When we announced we were getting married, his parents, on three occasions, attempted to get us to postpone the wedding, they, then, proceeded to take over the planning to make it match with their family vibes.

When I lost my grandmother, his family approached that with an “Oh well, move on” attitude.

When I was homeless three times, they didn’t offer assistance, rather, they tried to convince my partner to leave me.

And it’s just continued to get pettier.

When I started my small business, they told me that I wouldn’t achieve anything.

My MIL has told me openly that I shouldn’t study teaching and that I won’t cope because I am autistic.

My SILs exclude me from girls trips, while including our other SIL.

I am not permitted to be in family chats and also to not engage with nieces and nephews.

So, the OP has started to wonder…

Would I be the jerk if I started matching energy with them? How do I start to deal with this?

I feel like I am being gaslit to think that I am reading into it too much, but all these things happen all the time and its too much to be a coincidence.

I do have bad mental health, but, surely, I am not just imagining things.

What does Reddit think? Has she tried hard enough? Let’s see what the comments are saying below.

One reader questioned where the OP’s husband was amidst all of this drama.

Another put it point-blank.

A Redditor decided to lift her up by acknowledging all she’s done.

And finally, a reader mentioned that a serious conversation needs to happen between her and her husband.

This woman shouldn’t have to feel disliked and not feel supported by her husband.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.