Social expectations around courtesy can get complicated, especially when it comes to offering up a seat when you’re tired.

So, what would you do if you were riding a crowded train with a friend and managed to find a rare empty seat, only for them to suggest you should’ve offered it to them first?

Would you apologize and tell them it won’t happen again?

Or would you fail to see that you did anything wrong?

In the following story, one man finds himself in this exact situation.

Here’s how it all went down.

AITAH for not giving up my seat for a female friend on the train

We were traveling about 30 minutes from the city center to the area where we both live on a commuter train.

We’re in the same university, live around the same area, and are roughly the same age (I’m a year younger).

It’s generally very hard to find seats on the commuter train, and we got lucky when I found a seat on the train.

I was fairly tired and decided to sit down on the seat.

Here’s where she got upset.

She got visibly mad at me and told me it was not very “gentlemanlike” not to offer the seat to a woman.

I asked if she was tired and wanted the seat, and she said that wasn’t the point.

If she just politely asked, I obviously would have offered the seat, or she was pregnant, elderly, or visibly tired.

I don’t know, from my POV, it looked like she felt she was entitled to the seat, even though I don’t think she was.

I don’t particularly understand what’s not “gentlemanlike” in this context.

AITA?

Eek! Seeing both sides of this is easy, but she may have a point.

Let’s see what the people over at Reddit think he should’ve done.

This woman makes a valid point.

As this person points out, they could’ve shared the seat.

Here’s a woman with a different opinion.

For this reader, it’s not even about gender, just basic courtesy.

He probably should’ve offered.

Regardless of whether his friend was a man or a woman, the proper thing would’ve been to ask before sitting.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.