Household chores are the foundation of many arguments between partners, especially when something has been brewing under the surface.

See why things got heated after this wife got a job.

AITA for expecting my husband to do the dishes after I’ve worked all day?

I’ve been a stay at home wife most of the time my husband (let’s call him Kevin) and I have lived together.

Before we moved in together I did have a job and was even thinking towards the end of last year about how getting a part time job would be nice for more socialization.

However I hadn’t really made any moves to get one until more recently when Kevin lost his job suddenly.

He’s been unable to find another job after about 2-3 months and I decided to go back to work so we wouldn’t stress as much about finances.

I finally found a retail job a few weeks ago.

A storm was about to erupt.

Jump to last weekend.

We were very busy and short staffed.

I worked through the weekend and when I got home on Monday night I was absolutely exhausted.

I threw some dinner together and went to bed right afterwards.

The next morning when I woke up Kevin was already awake playing a game in the living room.

I hadn’t even walked into the kitchen yet when he told me he was upset I hadn’t cleaned up the kitchen last night before I went to bed.

I responded that I hadn’t really chosen to go to bed but had been so exhausted I physically could not keep my eyes open.

I told him the kitchen was clean it was only a couple of pans that he would have needed to wash off.

Kevin said he “didn’t sign up to be a maid.”

That started a small argument since he really hasn’t been doing much cleaning and most of the daily chores I would normally do have gone untouched until I’m off to do them.

I went into the kitchen right afterwards and the pans were exactly as I had left them. 1 on the stove top and the other in the sink.

That made me more upset and I went off about how doing some basic chores when he knew I was tired would be super low effort since he had no obligations now.

But they’re still not on the same page.

After we both calmed down I asked Kevin why me leaving the pans bothered him so much.

He said it was my choice to go back to work and I had been wanting to anyway while he hadn’t asked to be laid off.

He also said he was getting depressed because he couldn’t find any work and didn’t really have a reason to leave the house anymore.

He feels like he does to much housework already and since I had made dinner it was expected I should be the one to clean up the mess.

I do think he has a point about it being my mess to clean up.

I also feel really bad about calling him low effort.

He has been acting more depressed lately and I don’t want to make it any worse but I also am the only one working for the time being and until he finds another job and I can’t do both on my own.

This has come up 2 more time this week both with vacuuming when I missed a day and doing the laundry.

I’m really conflicted about wanting to give Kevin the time and support he needs until he can go back to work and also being so worn out after I get off that doing everything I was before just feels like a 2nd job.

AITA?

Here is what people are saying.

He needs to seek treatment, not excuse doing nothing.

It’s usually this straightforward.

I had friends who broke up partly over this.

LOL it sounds like he wants a mom, not a wife.

Thank you. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s a chauvanist.

I think this couple will divorce.

Men need to wake up and smell the chore list.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.