After being iced out by her adult children for refusing to care for her ex-husband, one grandma got an unexpected call—from her estranged daughter-in-law.

What started as a quick visit with the grandkids turned into a full-blown custody crisis.

Read on for the story.

AITAH For Agreeing To Look After My Recently Estranged Son’s Children While My Daughter in Law Divorces Him?

I (56f) have come across a new problem in my life and wife (56f) thinks that coming here will either help in getting another prospective or give me validation.

I have four children that I birthed and raised (35m, 32f, 29m and 29f) by my ex-husband and they all recently decided to cut me out of their lives as I refused to care for their father.

I refused on the basis that he and I divorced over a 10 years ago and they feel like I should help take care of him as a favor to them.

I’ve stuck by my decision and chose to go on a cruise with my wife instead of caring for their dad and they haven’t spoken to me directly since.

Well then…

Right now the only way I’d be able to see my children or grandchildren would be if I physically went to their house and forced my way in. But I don’t want to be that person.

I’ll admit it hasn’t been easy and I miss them but I, my wife, and therapist all agree that if I give in then I’m just showing that I’ll cave to their demands every time.

They’ve made it very clear it’s either I care for their father nearly everyday or nothing and I don’t want to do that.

Especially since my ex-husband and I didn’t divorce on good terms.

That’s a tough one.

Recently my eldest son’s wife Kate (34f) reached out to me and said that she had an emergency asked if I wanted to see my grandchildren Emma (9f) and Kyle (6m) and I obviously agreed.

At the time I was under the impression that my son was aware and since I was still blocked I didn’t think to reach out and check with him.

Kate dropped the kids off and I had nice time the kids.

Kate came back a few hours later and asked me if I could watch the kids again and when I asked about how my son felt she told me that while he was still angry he was fine and to just contact her if there were any problems.

Whoa, change of heart?

Unfortunately, Kate was lying and I found out about this when my son came to my house furious.

Apparently Kate and him have been having problems since November and she started looking for lawyers after my son told her to quit her part-time job, stop going to school online, and be a SAHM, while also working on baby #3.

Kate stated that my son has been doing things to sabotage her and I’m sad to say that some of the things she has said tracks with both my son (his father was the same).

My son stopped payment for daycare, Kate’s nearest relative lives about an hour away and any friend that she would trust to look after her kids and were willing are also friends with my son and refuse to get involved.

This keeps getting worse.

I was not happy at being lied to but I can’t find myself to be too angry because I got to see two of my grandkids.

I admit that it’s very selfish, but I agreed to keep taking the kids for her in exchange that she not lie to me and understand that if my son comes for the kids I can’t/won’t keep them from him.

I’ve also agreed to pay for the Summer Daycare program for the kids so they have something fun to do and my son is predictably not happy with me.

There ya go.

My kids have unblocked me but only to say that I’m a traitor and how terrible of a person I am.

It hurts but my wife feels that providing a safe and fun place for the grandkids comes first.

So I have to ask AITAH?

Many felt she was put in an impossible spot but made the compassionate call.

This person says kids always come first.

This person says the grandkids shouldn’t be penalized.

And this person has some fair questions (but still votes NTA).

Her son saw betrayal—others saw a grandma doing what her own kids refused to: show up.

It’s a pickle for sure.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.