When this med student was tricked into cooking for her own surprise engagement, what should’ve been a joyful memory turned into a moment of resentment, disappointment, and a massive family rift.

Read on for the story.

AITAH for telling my mom and fiancé that I hated my engagement?

Hi everyone, I got engaged on Sunday. My boyfriend (at the time) said he was coming to visit my family and I some days prior.

My mom said we should have a dinner to celebrate the end of our first year of medical school. For 3 days, I was cooking, washing dishes, doing grocery shopping and running helter skelter to prepare for this “dinner.”

On my engagement day, she sent me to the grocery store to buy some ranch. When I came back, the house was decorated and he proposed.

OH MAN.

I was annoyed because I felt like I had to work for my engagement. Majority of women who get engaged do not have to slave for 3 days.

In my family, I’ve felt like I’ve had to work for everything.  I’m the oldest sibling. I do all the house chores because my mom is so lenient on the other two.

When she went to school for her second masters degree, I typed up every single paper of hers. She is back in school and she still calls on me to help.

Oh…all right, all right.

I am the reliable child. And she couldn’t think for a second that maybe my engagement party is one thing that I do not have to work for? Because the Lord knows that if it were my other sisters getting engaged she won’t even think of having them cook and clean because they just won’t do it. She would’ve found another way.

I confronted her about it and I told her that I didn’t appreciate having to work for days for my engagement party. I said she should’ve left it for him to plan.

She said he had a two year ultimatum and she wanted to jump in and help him meet the deadline. She added that I should feel lucky that I am having an engagement party. And I shouldn’t have any standards because I lowered my standards when I slept with my boyfriend prior to marriage.

Ouch.

She also said there are so many women who men are sleeping with and have no ring so I should be thankful. It is so laughable because I know she was sleeping with my ex- stepdad before they got married. \

I told my fiancé to plan things by himself henceforth. If he couldn’t give me a fitting engagement by the 2 year mark, so be it.

He said he was trying to save money and it would’ve cost him $2K to get the whole engagement set up with the flowers and he didn’t want to use his credit card. I said it didn’t have to be extravagant.

Really, there are LOTS of options here.

I am still upset at my mother. I keep interactions with her to the minimum.

She asked me why I’ve been quiet for the past few days and I told her I’m okay. I stopped packing her lunch for work. I feel like I went to her with vulnerability and she ceased the opportunity to insult me. I am moving out gradually and will just pay my rent with my med school student loans.

I know she meant well in planning the engagement but I think she crossed the line with our conversation. AITAH?

What started as a surprise proposal ended with emotional fallout, a fractured relationship with her mother, and serious doubts about who’s actually supporting her happiness.

Most people thought the fiance was to blame.

Like, he could’ve done this a tonnnn of different ways.

Honestly, Mom AND fiance are to blame. Not a good pair in the slightest.

Working for your own engagement party? Yeah, this surprise sounds like it was more chore than charm.

If you liked this post, check out this story about an employee who got revenge on a co-worker who kept grading their work suspiciously low.