Showing up once in a while is not the same as being there.

So, what would you do if a parent who was mostly absent during your childhood suddenly expected a front-row role in your wedding?

Would you say yes to avoid hurting her feelings?

Or would you refuse and honor the person who actually raised you?

In the following story, one bride-to-be finds herself in this very situation and makes the decision that makes sense for her.

Here’s what’s going on.

AITA for telling my mom she can’t walk me down the aisle because she wasn’t really there for me growing up?

I (27F) am getting married later this year.

I was mostly raised by my dad and stepmom after my parents divorced when I was six.

My mom moved to another state shortly after, and I’d only see her during holidays, sometimes not even then.

She missed birthdays, school plays, even my graduation.

It was never a hostile relationship, just… distant.

She always said she loved me, but her actions didn’t reflect that.

My dad and stepmom were the ones who showed up, helped with homework, took me to doctor’s appointments, and basically raised me.

Her mother and other family members have their own opinions about what she should do.

So, when it came to planning the wedding, I asked my dad to walk me down the aisle.

My mom assumed she would be the one since I’m her only child, and we’ve been talking more lately.

When I told her I’d already asked my dad, she got really upset and said I was punishing her for the past.

I said it’s not about revenge, it’s about who was actually there for me.

Now, some family members are saying I’m being cold and should let her walk with me too as a gesture of healing.

However, I feel that would be for appearances only, and not something I truly want.

AITA?

Yikes! That sounds like a really tough decision, but it appears to be already settled.

Let’s see what the fine folks over at Reddit think.

As this person points out, she doesn’t get to be present when it’s convenient for her.

For this reader, her wedding day should be all about her.

This person thinks the father earned it.

Here’s another person who thinks she made the right choice.

Her dad deserves this honor!

It’s rude and selfish for her mother to even ask something like this.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.