After eight years together—including five living in his parents’ apartment—this 26-year-old woman needs to move closer to her new job.

But her boyfriend’s fear of change and free rent has him dragging his feet. When she pushed for a decision, it only got worse.

Is she pushing him too far, or is he simply not ready to grow up?

Read on for the story.

AITA : asking my 8 yo long relationship to move out with me

I (26 F) have been in a relationship for 8 years with my (31 M) partner. We have been living together for 5 years rent free in his parents apartment.

My work place is moving to a place where I have to do more than 4 hours of transports per day so l wanted us to move out, but he keeps telling me he is afraid.

For context he broke up with me few months ago and came back 1 week after.

We made some improvements but he still have doubts and is afraid to leave the rent free apartment since when he leaves, his parents will sell it, he doesn’t have a well-paying job.

He thinks they argue too much.

He wants less arguments whereas I think we argue just as much as any other couple, and want more time to play with his friends.

He plays rarely with them when I’m here but he play 2 nights in a row until 2am, while the pc gaming is in our bedroom so the first night I slept 2 hours and the second night I was angry at him because I asked him to stop playing at 1am since I was very sleepy.

To him I could’ve told him to speak quieter or sleep on the couch, which I have done for an hour but our cats woke me up.

He’s still undecided.

This night I asked him whether yes or no he wants to move out with me, already changed my workplace and I need to move out urgently.

He didn’t had a definitive answer and to me, was beginning to speak harshly (like in a provocative way), so I told him to not to speak to me like that (not in a good manner either).

Uh oh.

Then we argued… I cried for 3-4 hours non stop and he couldn’t care less, told me that since I cry often it doesn’t affect him and to him my tears are manipulative.

I get that he is anxious but I feel like for last week he tried hard for us to have some arguments, maybe to prove his point to not move out together, but in the morning he is ahead for 1h so I don’t know.

AITA for asking him to move out with me and insisting to have an answer, since it led to a huge fight ?

Wanting a straight answer about your future isn’t manipulative—it’s necessary. Especially when your commute is four hours and your relationship is already running on fumes.

What did Reddit think?

This person says NTA but communication needs fixing before anything else.

This person says he isn’t going to change, so end it now.

This person says OP deserves better.

One of them is clearly doing the heavy lifting.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.