There’s a traditional, pretty harsh philosophy on parenting that says, more or less, if your kids don’t listen, just hurt them until they do.

This is messed up for all kinds of reasons.

So how DO you enforce a level of healthy discipline in a kid without doing damage?

I’m not sure these parents have any answers.

Check it out.

AITA for not giving my daughter a treat on Friday?

My spouse (35m) and I (38f) have been disagreeing a lot about punishment for my 8f daughter’s behavior recently.

She is a great kid most of the time but does end up not listening and giving out like most kids her age.

Every kid goes through that at some point, right?

This morning was no different and we had to ask her several times to have her breakfast, stop playing with toys, and to get ready for the day.

Most requests met with groans and noises of dissatisfaction.

We spoke to her pointing this out and saying that we were bummed out that she was not listening to us and that we would really appreciate it if she would.

I advised that if she kept this up she would not get a treat in her lunch today.

It’s just no no no all day.

I asked her for a 4th time to brush her hair and she crawled under the table to avoid it and I finally said ‘Fine, there is no treat going to school today’.

On Fridays the kids are allowed to bring a small treat to enjoy with their lunch.

She was quite upset over this and hysterically cried.

We allowed her to cry it out as i think it is healthy to get out the emotions.

But then they started to soften.

When it was almost time for school my husband said go get her a small treat for her lunch and I stood my ground saying that had she listened this morning she would have a treat but unfortunately she chose not to.

He feels like she will be socially ostracized for not having a treat this Friday as she will maybe need to explain why to her friends.

I said that is fine, the punishment fits the crime and hopefully it will make her think twice about not listening multiple times in the morning.

Where should the line be drawn?

We are not always the best when following through with punishments so I feel it is something we need to get better at for her sake as others will not be as flexible in the future.

So, AITA?

Let’s see what the comments have to say:

People were pretty clear.

Giving in now doesn’t help either of you in the long run.

She’s 8, not 2.

Best of luck!

You’ll do fine.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.