Everyone probably has a few things about their life that they don’t like to talk about. It could be a situation they’re dealing with or something from their past that is especially painful.

If someone in your life kept bringing up one of these sensitive topics without realizing how painful it was for you to talk about, would you stay quiet about how you felt, or would you let them know this topic is triggering for you?

In today’s story, one man want’s to confront his wife’s aunt about some hurtful things she has said to him, but he’s not sure how to do it.

Let’s read the whole story to see what’s going on.

WIBTA if I tell someone “I know you’re trying to be nice, but that’s one of the most hurtful things anyone has ever said to me.”?

My wife’s aunt Sally has twice told me that my parents don’t love me.

I don’t think she meant to be hurtful, but I really hated hearing that.

The first time, she was upset with me, and lecturing me about how to be a better husband. She presented it as a way to make allowances for me and relate to me.

It was basically, “I know what it’s like to grow up with parents who don’t give you unconditional love, but you’re an adult now, and you need to decide what type of person you’re going to be.”

She said the same thing again but in a completely different context.

The second time, she meant it as a compliment.

A few months before my son was born, she said “I know you’re going to be a loving father, even though you didn’t get the love you needed growing up.”

I have a complicated relationship with my father. He can be very obnoxious.

Things have been tense between us for the past two years.

He doesn’t like to talk about their relationship.

It’s a very sensitive topic for me.

I have difficulty talking about it even with close friends.

If you were trying to hurt my feelings, it would be hard to find a better vulnerability to poke.

Here’s what he wants to say if she says the same thing again.

I’m not good at thinking on my feet. I didn’t know how to respond the first two times.

If she says it again, I want to say “I know you’re trying to be nice, but that’s one of the most hurtful things anyone has ever said to me.”

I realize that there’s a right way and a wrong way to address this, and my way is definitely somewhere in the middle. I’m just trying to find out which side of the jerk line it falls on.

Sally’s comments have changed their relationship.

A well-adjusted adult would either have a heart-to-heart with Sally, about the lingering feelings from what she said, or just let it go and accept that she made a mistake.

On the other end of the spectrum, some people would address this with yelling and name-calling.

Sally and I got along very well for several years before this happened.

Now, I’m uneasy about sharing anything personal with her.

He doesn’t want to talk about anything deep with her.

I make chitchat with her, but I don’t like to get into deep conversations, because I don’t like the idea of her knowing about sensitive topics.

I want her to feel ashamed of herself.

I’m certainly being at least a little bit of a jerk by weaponizing her compassion against her. I just want to know if I’m going too far.

Sally probably has no idea she’s hurting his feelings or their relationship, but maybe he can explain how he feels without trying to make her feel bad.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

This person thinks he’s being too sensitive.

Another person thinks he should just talk to her.

He shouldn’t try to shame her.

Here’s a vote for therapy.

This person also thinks therapy is a good idea.

Therapy is a better option than intentionally trying to hurt someone.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.