When you’re growing up, your parents are the strong, stable rocks on which your young life can rely.

But when you get older, sadly you have to watch them getting more frail, older, and sometimes depending as much on you as you once did on them.

Some people take all this in their stride, but for others the responsibility and decline of a parent’s health can take a toll both mentally and physically.

The guy in this story has watched his father-in-law’s health deteriorate considerably over recent years, but when he comes to stay it’s clear that it’s too much for him and his wife to handle.

Read on to find out how his wife reacted when he told her that her father needed to go home.

AITA for telling my wife to send my father-in-law back home?

My father-in-law is seriously ill. He has incontinence and can’t walk on his own.

He also needs at least two people to support him while walking.

Now, three weeks ago we brought him to our house for a short stay.

Before that I had told my wife even if a nurse is there, one of us has to stay, because my father-in-law does not like unknown people.

Let’s see how the stay is going.

In this last three weeks, I arranged to work from home, and my wife was not working.

My father-in-law fell twice: once in the bathroom, and another time in front of the bathroom.

I picked him up, since neither my wife nor the house maid can, as he is very heavy at 85 kilograms or more.

He has diabetes and a nerve problem, and he is very moody.

But things are about to change with this already shaky situation.

Now from tomorrow I have to go to office, and my wife is starting a new job.

She asked me if my father-in-law can continue to stay in the presence of the house maid, and we will hire a nurse.

Now given the nurse is new and no one will be at home for 10+ hours, I did not agree given the risk of him falling down with no one able to pick him up. If he gets hurt badly it will be a mess.

Perviously when he came to stay for three days he fell, and after that I was told by the other in laws that after he fell in our house his condition has become worse.

Let’s see how his wife felt about his decision.

I would have had no issues if my wife or I were able to be present tomorrow, but since it is not possible I did not agree and we sent my father-in-law home.

Since then, my wife has been creating a huge sentimental issue and started blackmailing me, saying things like “your kid will do the same to you” etc.

But I see it as a big risk keeping someone like my father-in-law alone in presence of a new nurse when no one is at home. It is also a security risk.

AITA?

It’s clear that this guy has made a pragmatic decision, based on his ideas of what is and isn’t sensible and safe – that he feels he’s made his decision with the best interests of his father-in-law in mind.

But it seems like he has steamrolled his wife somewhat, caring only for the practicalities rather than her own emotions and sentiments about her father and how he is being treated.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit had to say about this.

This person thought that he was doing the right thing.

While others pointed out that he should be in residential care.

However, some Redditors encouraged the man to become more compassionate, and talk considerately to his wife about her father’s declining health and high needs.

And this carer suggested both of them were thinking of the father-in-law, just not in an aligned way.

This is a really tricky situation, and it’s not right for the wife to be guilt-tripping her husband.

But it does feel like he’s calling the shots at a highly emotional time, without any empathy for the situation that she is in, watching her father quickly deteriorate.

Everyone needs to take a step back here, then approach the situation with more compassion.

Feelings matter too, not just practicalities.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.