Some betrayals don’t come with a warning. They hit when you least expect them.

What would you do if you opened social media and found out your closest friends had secretly planned a hen weekend and never invited you? Would you give them the benefit of the doubt? Or would you protect your peace and consider ending the friendship?

In the following story, one woman finds herself facing this very decision and wants advice. Here’s what happened.

WIBTA if I cut off my entire childhood friend group after they secretly planned a hen do and didn’t invite me?

I’ve been part of a friendship group since I was 13 (I’m nearly 33 now). There are 7 of us in total. While some are closer to each other than others, we’ve kept a group chat going for years. I’ve always seen them as my oldest and most meaningful friends, the kind you assume will be in your life forever.

This weekend, I opened Instagram and saw that five of the girls had gone on a long weekend hen do for one of the group’s weddings. I had absolutely no idea it was happening.

There was no invite, no heads-up, and no mention at all. The only other one not there has two kids, so I assume she couldn’t go, but I was simply excluded. The whole thing was planned behind my back.

She’s really hurt by the whole thing.

To be clear: I know I haven’t been the most active in the group chat recently. I’ve been doing a PhD, and I even gave them a heads-up a few years ago that I’d be less present for a while. But I still showed up when it mattered. I travelled across the country for everyone’s 30th birthdays, and I’ve always backed them, even from a distance.

What’s hurt the most isn’t just missing the hen do, it’s the silence. Not one person said, “Hey, just so you know…” or gave me a chance to understand. They just carried on like everything was normal.

After finding out, I spoke to two of the girls (my closest friends). They were shocked I wasn’t included and admitted they were confused by the bride’s (Rachel’s) decision. They told me there hadn’t been any falling out or issue from me, and they were really upset to see how hurt I was.

Now, she’s thinking about just leaving the group chat and moving on.

When I said I was thinking of leaving the group chat and cutting ties completely, unfollowing everyone, stepping back, they got really emotional and said they didn’t want me to go and that felt extreme.

But honestly? I don’t know if I can stay. I feel humiliated. Like a spare part in a friendship I thought I was still part of. The trust feels broken. Part of me wants to just walk away quietly, not to punish anyone, but to protect myself and give myself the dignity of closure.

The other part of me is scared I’ll look like the dramatic one or regret walking away from 20 years of history.

AITA?

Yikes! That’s enough to hurt anyone’s feelings.

Let’s see what advice the folks over at Reddit have to offer her.

Here’s a well-thought-out explanation.

As this comment explains, she needs to determine if it’s worth salvaging.

These are some really good points.

According to this reader, she should protect her dignity and walk away.

It’s clear they’ve decided she’s not worthy of being part of their group, so she should walk away and make new friends.

Those are not her friends.

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