Caring for a family member who’s on the spectrum can be difficult.

Would you give up going to college to care for your autistic sibling, or would you prioritize your life and your future?

This young man grew up with his entire life adjusted around his autistic brother’s needs.

He plans to live with his grandparents to attend college, but his mom is trying to guilt him into staying.

Check out the full story below for all the details.

AITA for telling my parents they were bad parents to me?

I (19M) have an autistic brother (20M).

He’s fairly manipulative.

He realized pretty quickly that the threat of a meltdown would get him his way every single time.

He is considered high functioning by medical personnel, but he’s got my parents convinced he just doesn’t understand what he’s doing, and they don’t ever punish him.

This young man complains that he never gets to do anything he likes.

Doctors have told them that he understands and that he knows what he’s doing.

They think they know better.

They also expect me to revolve my entire life around him.

I was never able to do anything I wanted because it upset his routine.

He feels resentful about the whole situation.

I wanted to play a sport. Nope, his routine.

I wanted to get a job. Nope, his routine.

Friends? Yeah, forget about that.

I tried not to be resentful, but I am.

He plans to move away and live with his grandparents.

The problem: My parents are flipping out because I plan to move several states away. I will be living with my grandparents soon to attend school.

They keep trying to guilt me into staying because of my brother.

I usually just say that I’m sorry that they feel that way, but I’m still going.

His mother said they had treated them both fairly.

Well, here’s where I might be the jerk.

My mother was going on and on about how the world doesn’t revolve around me and how I was being really selfish and how I was going to ruin my brother by doing this.

She said they’d always been the best parents they could be to both of us and we both got equal attention.

He got upset and called her delusional.

I got frustrated.

I told her that she was delusional if she thought she or my father were ever good parents to me.

They made my life revolve around my brother’s.

I had nothing of my own. He had to be the center of everything.

He called his parents selfish for constantly giving in to his brother’s whims and demands.

I said he wasn’t the center of the universe, even though she tried to make him it.

I told her that the only people who were selfish were her and my father because they actively ignored me in favor of babying my brother who played them like a fiddle to make sure he always got his way.

I told her that his routine was not my problem, that it was up to them to make the appropriate adjustments.

His mom started crying, but his grandfather thought he did well for standing up for himself.

I asked if she really thought I’d just not live my life because of him.

She started crying, and I walked off and shut myself in my room.

My father is demanding an apology for what I said, but I’m refusing.

My grandpa said he’s proud that I stood up for myself.

But my parents are still demanding an apology for being a jerk.

I don’t think I need to give them one. AITA here?

The brother is a jerk for manipulating his parents to get his way, and the parents are jerks for not understanding that’s what he’s doing.

Let’s check out the comments of other people on Reddit to this story.

Short and simple.

Your parents abused you, says this person.

This person gives their honest opinion.

Here’s some helpful advice from this user.

And finally, here’s a genuine remark.

You can’t build a life of your own while constantly living in someone else’s shadow.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.