Having a baby is one of the most exciting and joyful experiences in life, but it can also be one of the most stressful.

What would you do if you wanted to avoid having extended family at the hospital with you for the birth, but your in-laws are throwing a fit about it?

That is what is happening to the new mom in this story, so she compromised saying that they could be in the waiting room, but they still aren’t happy with it.

Check out the details.

AITAH my MIL think’s she’s being treated unfairly in regard to the birth experience

First time mom, 40 weeks and a day currently, need help navigating if I’m actually being unfair to my MIL.

Pregnancy can be very difficult on many moms.

To start from the beginning I got pregnant half way through nursing school and almost failed out because of how miserable my first trimester was.

However I didn’t fail and I graduated and got my license (huge personal victory).

My mom is medically retired and was able to spend a lot of time with me and helping us with chores around the house like cooking and cleaning while I was struggling and my husband kept working night shift to provide for us.

My mom actually came a lot while I was in school just to help me keep up the house, even before I was pregnant.

Fast forward to the end of the second trimester my husband and I discuss what our plan is for delivery so we can make sure we’re on the same page.

We agree to no one at the hospital at all while I’m in labor and that we’ll call and let people know the next day when we are ready to have visitors and we don’t want anyone at our house the first week or two after getting home.

I tell my family and they’re agreeable even though my mom had the whole family in the waiting room when I was born and they were all allowed back right after.

At least mom is being understanding on this.

It took a conversation or two with my mom to get her to understand what I want but ultimately she just wants me safe and healthy and is now fine with whatever I ask of her.

When my husband and I tell his mother our plan she immediately shuts down and is visibly distraught by us telling her our plan and my husband having my back.

She doesn’t understand why we want what we want when she wasn’t even the first person to see or hold her own son (my husband) because her father was, but she drops it for a couple weeks and doesn’t push the subject.

Fast forward to today, I’m 40 weeks and day and we have an induction scheduled for Saturday morning at 8am.

My husband comes home from a workout before work and asks if we can speak in private.

Apparently his mother and grandmother call him crying because they feel like they aren’t being treated fairly and are being left out of the experience.

She’s jealous that my parents are staying with us currently (my parents live over 7 hours away in other states, his mom lives an hour and a half south of us) and she feels like they shouldn’t be here because we should be spending time together before the baby gets here because we are grown adults.

Working third shift can be a huge challenge.

He sleeps during the day and works at night, when he’s awake in the morning and the evening they retreat upstairs to their rooms to give us space because I asked them too.

On his only day off this week I asked them to leave the house and give us space to just have time with the two of us and they were gone the entire day until after like 8 at night and I asked them to get a hotel room the night before my induction so we can spend quality time together and they happily agreed.

But mostly she’s upset still that we won’t let anyone at the hospital for the first 24 hours when our daughter is born.

So we had a discussion tonight. I asked him what he wanted because I was willing to compromise with him and he said he wants the “big happy family” feeling of having his family there to celebrate.

So we come to a compromise that everyone can be in the waiting room while I’m in labor, that way my husband can go out into the waiting room and give in person updates but no one is allowed back for at least the first two hours so I can have the time I need, and if all goes well, they can come back but no one is allowed to hold the baby except my husband and I.

This seems like a very reasonable plan.

I update my family on the new plan and they’re perfectly fine with it, he updates his family and his mom still doesn’t understand and thinks we aren’t being fair but told him she’ll agree to our wishes.

Regardless of how I’m feeling right now because I’m definitely feeling a lot of things after having all this dumped on me days before my first child is born, am I being unfair?

Am I showing obvious favoritism toward my own family and cutting my MIL out? I’ve been actively making an effort the entire pregnancy to be fair to both moms and treat them both equally but if I’m really messing up that much I want to know.

AITA?

There is no right or wrong answer to how a new mom and dad should handle the delivery. Whatever they are comfortable with should be what happens.

His mom and grandma are way out of line for pressuring this new family.

Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say about it.

This commenter puts it very clearly.

I agree with this commenter.

This commenter says the husband is failing her.

Yeah, she gave up almost all of what she wanted.

This is a really good suggestion.

This should be 100% the new mom’s decision.

Why do people think they can push their way into such a private environment.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.