Being an adult is often the crushing realization that, while you now CAN buy yourself toys, you shouldn’t.

It’s all the more crushing when it comes from a fellow adult.

Check out this story of spending woes.

AITA for telling my boyfriend he can’t buy a dirtbike?

Me (28F) and my partner (25m) just had a fight about him buying a dirt bike.

We have been together for 2 years, and recently decided to move in together to my apartment as we wanted to get serious about saving for a house.

For context, I make $55k and he makes between $85-$100k/year.

Also relevant, he has made some big purchases this year, including a new car, a motorcycle and all the gear for that including a $2k helmet.

He also owes me about $1300 for an upcoming vacation we are planning on taking next month which he had told me he will pay “later”.

See, they were on a sort of “trial run.”

Before committing to living together, we decided to do a one month “trial” period to make sure my apartment would work for the both of us.

He told me he didn’t have enough money to pay for two places at once or even contribute a few hundred dollars to help offset the extra costs, so I offered to pay the bills and rent at my place for the first month while he covered things at his until he moved in permanently.

I had some emergency expenses this year that had unfortunately drained my savings so we both knew that me paying for everything for the two of us would be tight but I thought it was just a month and there was no use in us both being stressed about money.

And I never expected him to help or offer to help with my personal expenses – but to just be aware that I’m not in a position where I have much cushion to take on extra costs.

Wasn’t this supposed to be about a bike?

So…now the dirt bike.

Recently, he saw a reel about mini dirt bikes was talking about how “funny” it would be and how it’s “only” $1300.

I was annoyed because he had previously told me he didn’t have the money to help with our shared expenses or pay me back for the trip and asked if he had the money for the bike and he laughed and told me that he has about $40k was shocking to me.

I snapped and told him if he had the money to blow $1300 on a dumb toy as a joke, he had the money to help with the bills or at least pay me what he owes me.

Now here’s where I become an AH – I lost my **** and went off about his spending habits.

I told him he’d just bought a motorcycle not even a year ago that he’d only been able to ride for 5 months, plus a new car, plus thousands on riding gear and bike modifications, and now he wants some other obnoxiously loud toy that we don’t even have room to store.

I snapped and told him he spends money hand over fist on stupid stuff at whim and after 2 weeks of having this dirt bike he’d be on to the next obnoxious thing and said it’s so messed up that you expect your girlfriend to struggle and pay for all the bills while you live here rent free and blow all of your money on fun things for yourself – and pointed out I earn half of what he does.

So, now they’re fighting.

He is annoyed because I’m going back on my word and he says we made a deal that I pay for things this month and I shouldn’t police how he spends his money and if he has the money, he should be able to spend it on the things he wants to and he will contribute to the shared expenses when his lease ends, as we agreed.

I feel taken advantage of because I made that deal because he told me he didn’t have the money to contribute to our place while paying for his apartment at the same time.

I feel like he knew he had the money to help pay for some of the expenses this month or at least pay me what he owes me for the trip but purposely misled me and let me struggle and stress over making ends meet.

AITA?

Let’s see what the comments have to say:

He’s very clearly taking advantage of your money when he has no need to.

Everyone agrees.

You tried, it failed.

Some were pretty blunt:

Your ability to share a home and finances has crashed within weeks.

Looks like it’s just not in the cards.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.