It’s never pleasant when someone you consider to be a family member tells you that they don’t feel the same way…

But what’s the best way to handle that sticky situation?

Should you accept that your bond isn’t as close as you thought it was, or is the relationship forever changed?

Read this woman’s story, and see if you think she did anything wrong.

WIBTA for not letting my best friend stay at my house again after she told me we’re “not family”?

“My best friend of 12 years and I just had a situation that really hurt me.

She’s been staying at my house with my family for the past month and this isn’t the first time she’s stayed long-term.

We treat her like family, and I’ve always said I view my close friends as chosen family.

They went on vacation together.

Last week, we went on a trip to Miami. On the last day, we were tired and rushing to pack.

I had borrowed a pair of her sneakers (she told me not to pack more sneakers cause I can borrow hers), I packed my heels and purses that we planned to share.

I assumed I’d be wearing the sneakers I used for the airport to leave to come back home.

That morning, she decided to wear them instead—which is totally fine, duh, they’re hers. She offered me another pair, but I didn’t want to wear those.

I noticed another pair outside her suitcase and asked if I could wear them.

Her friend didn’t seem to want to be honest.

She danced around the question, beat around the bush, I then said “you don’t want me to wear these right?”

She said no.

I responded, “Just say that then.”

I’ll admit my tone was frustrated. I didn’t yell or try to start anything, I know I sounded irritated.

Later, we talked about it and she told me my comment felt like “fighting words.” Literal, physical fighting.

I explained I wasn’t trying to be hostile—I was tired and frustrated, and I apologized. It wasn’t that deep TO ME.

Her friend’s words really hurt.

Then she said something that really hurt me: “I talk to my sisters like that, but we’re just friends, not family, so that’s not acceptable between us.”

That stung.

She’s been sleeping in my bed, helping cook for my family, sharing life with us for weeks. (Not to say because of this that I can speak to her however, I understand where she was coming from on that but her saying THIS sprouted a completely separate issue)

I’ve always seen her as family, even if we’re not blood.

She tried to explain.

I said, “You’re staying in my house.”

And she backtracked: “Don’t get it twisted, you are family—but friends shouldn’t talk like that.”

Still, the damage was done. I feel like I crossed a line once, but she dismissed the whole foundation of our bond.

I told her again that I didn’t mean it that way, that I’m not perfect, and sometimes when my patience runs thin, I slip up. I’ve had similar issues with family too. It really only happens when I reach a point and that rarely happens.

These two aren’t on the same page.

During our talk, I also brought up that she was in a mood that morning too—short and not her usual self. I asked her to acknowledge that, but she didn’t.

She didn’t apologize or reflect on her own energy at all.

Then, mid-convo, she goes, “Me and [our other friend] are going to North Carolina this weekend if you want to come—it’s an open invitation I guess.”

The way she said it felt weird. After everything, that “I guess” rubbed me the wrong way.

She’s not sure what to do.

For context, she’s invited me to visit her in California too (I haven’t been able to go), so she’s not a bad friend.

But right now, I feel really hurt.

I opened my home and heart, and after one miscommunication, I’m being told we’re “not family”?

I’m considering not letting her stay with me again, just to protect my peace.

WIBTA?”

It’s hard to realize that your friend doesn’t value your friendship as much as you do.

Check out what folks had to say on Reddit.

This reader chimed in.

Another individual offered some advice.

This reader said she’s NTA.

Another Reddit user agreed.

And this person had a lot to say.

That comment really hit a raw nerve!

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.