Relationships can be challenging, and living together is a big step for everyone.

What would you do if you kept some of your belongings in storage in case you break up, and then your girlfriend found out about it and got upset?

That is the situation that the boyfriend in this story finds himself in, and he thinks that he is justified in keeping his stuff.

Check it out.

AITA (30M) for keeping old stuff from my previous living situation in case of a breakup with my GF (30F) a sign of not being committed, or just a safety net?

I (30M) have been living with my girlfriend (30F) for a while now, and we’re going through a tough patch in our relationship.

We’re trying to work through our issues, but there’s been some serious friction, and it’s left me thinking about the future.

They aren’t married, he is smart for keeping his stuff.

Here’s the situation: I still have some of my old stuff stored away in the attic, mostly duplicates of things we have in our home already (furniture, decorations, etc.) from when we lived separately.

A lot of the stuff we have out is actually her stuff, as she’s picked things she prefers over mine in terms of design (which is true, she’s got a better eye).

We’ve also invested a lot in furniture and decor together, which would likely go with her if we did break up.

So, its not like he is keeping everything he ever owned here. He’s not a hoarder.

This also means that if we got rid of duplicates, it’s mostly my stuff we would be getting rid of. I’ve kept some of my old things in case the relationship doesn’t work out, and I need a fallback.

I also got rid of a lot more of my things in the move in together (larger furniture, ie. couch).

I’m a bit isolated from my family and friends (I’m originally from several states away, she’s born and raised where we live), so the thought of losing everything if we break up is something that weighs on me.

This is a valid concern, but his reasoning is valid as well.

The issue is that my girlfriend views this as me preparing for the relationship to fail.

I’ve tried to explain that I’m just trying to be realistic and protect myself, not planning for the end, but the fact that I have this backup in place has created some tension between us.

Honestly, I’m not sure he should be trying to work things out with her.

I’m fully committed to working things out, and I’ve communicated that to her, but she doesn’t see it that way.

I get that keeping the stuff might seem like I’m anticipating failure, but it feels like security for me. The reality is too, that this isn’t a purely hypothetical situation.

We’ve been struggling with some real stuff, that I’m not sure we’re going to be able to align on. I’m all in to work on it and figure it out, but the reality in life is that sometimes there’s not a way to move forward that’s neither person’s fault.

He seems to be thinking practically, and she is thinking emotionally.

In my mind I view it a bit more as at a high level – assets are individual (outside of shared things) until we are engaged, financials are individual until we are legally married.

So, I guess my question is, is this behavior really a red flag? Is it truly a sign that I’m not fully invested in the relationship? Or am I just being cautious in case things don’t work out?

It is always good to look for third party insights.

I’m genuinely torn, and I’d really appreciate some outside perspectives on this.

AITA?

I can totally see where both of them are coming from, but she needs to be understanding about this since he is the one taking all the risks.

Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say about it.

It is his stuff and he can do with it what he wants.

I would want him to keep it.

She may be too controlling.

There are many reasons to keep the stuff.

This commenter has a good suggestion.

There is no reason to throw away his good things just to make her feel better.

They both need to chill.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.