Weddings are deeply personal and often include special people who mean a lot to the couple.

If you were getting married, would you give your dad’s new wife and her kids special roles in your wedding, or would you simply invite them to the wedding as guests?

This man is getting married, and he decided not to give any roles to his dad’s new wife and stepchildren.

His dad is pretty upset about this, and not he’s wondering if he’s making a mistake.

Check out the full story below for all the details.

AITA for not including my dad’s new wife or stepchildren in my wedding beyond them being guests?

My dad got married again pretty recently (September 2024).

His wife came along with two children under 10.

My dad loves his stepchildren, and he has always wanted them to be included as if they were blood.

This man didn’t give any special roles to his stepmom and stepsiblings in his wedding.

And so, when it came to my wedding, he got upset.

He learned that his wife and stepchildren were guests who were only invited because of him and were not be given any familial roles in the wedding.

What this means is she won’t be in a mother-of-the-groom role. I won’t be walking down the aisle with his wife or dancing with her.

His stepchildren will not be a flower girl and page boy or junior bridesmaid and junior groomsman.

He told his dad they would only be “general guests” and nothing more.

They will be in photos because they have to be, but there won’t be a special introduction for them either, which my dad expected us to do.

He asked what they’ll be other than general guests.

And I said nothing because they are general guests.

His dad insisted that they should be treated as “true” family, not just guests.

He said they should be treated as family, as true family, and not just general guests.

I said they’re only invited because of him and that they are not my new mother and siblings.

My dad told me he feels like there needs to be more done to include them as family, that simply inviting them is not enough.

He responded by comparing how they treated his fiancée during their wedding.

He told me I owe it to him to treat them like they are equal to the family as he is.

I asked where was that attitude when he got married.

I asked why my fiancée wasn’t treated as his family and his daughter. Why was she a plus one to his wedding?

He told me it’s different and people expect different things out of in-laws than stepfamily.

He added that he’s way too old to treat his new wife as his mom or his stepchildren as his siblings.

I told him it was crap, and people realize that in-laws are not usually the same as your own parents and siblings or children.

I said that is the case for stepfamilies too, sometimes.

That there are occasions where it’s all the same, but not always.

And I pointed out I’m 25 years old and way too old to start treating this new person as a mom and way older than his stepchildren to see them as any more than kids in the wider family, but not siblings.

His dad kept pushing him.

He’s really fighting me on this.

He told me the kids especially deserve to be treated like my little siblings.

That I should get to know them before the wedding, so including them will make more sense and to make their days by letting them play a special role in the wedding.

But he’s standing his ground and hasn’t agreed to his dad’s wish.

I’m staying firm.

But he’s growing more frustrated about it.

He told me it would be the right thing to do.

I disagree. So, AITA?

It’s his wedding. He doesn’t have to give the stepmom and step siblings a special role in it if he doesn’t want to.

Let’s read the responses of other people on Reddit to this story.

This person gives their honest opinion.

Here’s another valid point from this person.

This user shares their personal thoughts.

Short and straightforward.

Finally, he’s being ridiculous, says this person.

Family is earned through deep and meaningful connection, not forced by obligation.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.