It’s important to make sure you talk to your partner about life goals and what you want your future to look like before you get married.

Otherwise, you might end up like the couple in this story where the wife likes things just the way they are, but her husband wants to make a huge change to their lifestyle even though he knows she won’t agree to this change.

Now, she wants to know if she’s wrong for not being willing to change.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA My husband wants me to “Change.”

My husband and I have been married for 3 years, almost 4.

We have a child together, almost 2 female.

I have been with him through cancer, chemotherapy, his crazy toxic mother, his four job changes, my extremely horrible pregnancy, a very traumatic birth and more chaos.

When we met, I had just bought a home by myself, in town.

I love living in town because I was raised in the country where I barely had cell service and my closest friend was a 20 minute drive away.

I have always said I’d never want to live in the country again.

I have also said I never wanted farm animals, again, I had them as a kid and I never wanted that responsibility again.

Her husband had something on his mind.

Well. Four days ago. He started acting weird.

Like stand offish, didn’t sit next to me at dinner, was super monosyllabic, just odd.

So I pushed him until he finally told me what was wrong today.

Apparently, we “want different things and he has no idea what we are even doing anymore.”

As you’d imagine, I was flabbergasted that this came out of nowhere.

He wanted to make a big change.

Why did he feel this way?

Because I don’t want to sell my house and move on to 20 acres in the middle of nowhere so he can “shoot bows, blow stuff up, and have farm animals.”

I was absolutely floored when his response to why he married me if he knew I didn’t want any of those things was “people change all the time. I thought you’d change.”

He never told me he wanted me to even CONSIDER that.

So I was in shock.

She’s not going to change her mind.

I told him he was selfish, and childish for acting the way he has, and for marrying me to begin with if he knew I didn’t want those things.

He said he wasn’t sure he wanted to be married to me.

I told him he owed me an apology at the very least for all of the stuff he has put me through and is going to put our child through when he inevitably divorces me.

He told me he didn’t owe me a thing.

So.

Am I a jerk for not changing my mind on our living situation, and my opinion on his apology based on his behavior towards me?

I’m not sure how old they are, but it could be that her husband is having a mid-life crisis.

Wanting to make a big change like this when he knew from the beginning she wouldn’t want that kind of life makes him the jerk not her.

Let’s see how Reddit responded.

Time to get a lawyer.

This person recommends a brain scan.

Another person advises her not to move to a farm.

She can’t trust him after this.

She should not give in.

He needed to tell her years ago.

Or never let things get serious in the first place.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.