A woman’s ex is still lurking in a work friends’ chat months after dumping her.

She values the group but can’t stomach seeing his name pop up anymore.

Staying in the chat feels more like emotional torture than connection. Read on for the story.

AITAH for leaving a group chat shared with an ex?

My ex dumped me unexpectedly 5 months ago. We’re in our mid-late 20s.

Our relationship was short-lived but i fell HARD nonetheless.

I truly felt like i had found the person I’d refer to as my husband someday, and it’s only time I’ve felt this way.

Now that he’s gone, it feels like a constant battle of trying to pull myself out of the depths of hell.

Woof.

I go to therapy, get lots of physical exercise in, nourish my family/friend relationships and try my best to focus on how i can grow…but the hurt keeps coming in waves and it’s exhausting to feel like every step i take, i land right back to this atrocious pain.

The thing is, pardon my french, i essentially **** where i ate.

The ex and i work together (i know this as a concept is highly polarizing. I’d rather not focus on a “is it wise to date a coworker?” debate).

We have a group of work friends who’ve we created strong bonds with, both individually and together.

We hang out outside of work and the group keeps in touch now that we’ve moved to other areas of our job.

That definitely complicates things.

The group is pretty active.

Some of those coworkers know that we dated and that we are no longer an item. They’ve been super cool and supportive 1:1 when need be.

The thing is, my heart still shatters when i see his name pop up.

I was so excited for our next steps career-wise (and I’m still super happy and proud of us), but now i find myself mourning what could’ve been.

He was quite cold and callous towards me after he dumped me.

He also once told me to “move on” when i admitted that i still love and miss him after a night out.

Ouch.

Despite this, i kept on a brave face (as best as i could) at work and in social settings.

I remained kind towards him, as i couldn’t bring myself to hurt him back and be petty.

Now that we’ve moved to new areas, we truly are no contact outside of being in that same group chat.

I muted the chat a long time ago to avoid those notification jump scares, but can’t help from opening it from time to time throughout the week to see what’s up.

It’s a very helpful group chat career-wise. We joke and share life updates.

I truly cherish everyone in that chat but I’ve scaled back on participating.

Career connections remain, but personal boundaries come first, right?

This person has some simple advice.

This person has mixed feelings.

And this person is keeping it real.

Some friendships are worth keeping; some exes are worth ghosting—even in a group chat.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.