Public spaces are exactly that… public. So, occasionally, things can get awkward.

Some people feel that they’re entitled to every space as if it’s theirs, and that’s exactly what happened in this situation.

Let’s follow along on a journey to a local laundromat, where things get pretty weird…

Laundry Loca

Last Sunday my roommate and I were making the obligatory emergency no-clean clothes trip to the laundromat.

The one we use is on the border of a wealthy area and a not so great area.

The only other people in the place were an elderly mother and her adult daughter. They were very polite and kept to themselves.

They had a couple loads in two of the 15 dryers. About 5 of those dryers are super large ones that cost $2.50 to start.

The elderly mom, EM, had a big load of clothes in one of these giant machines.

A few moments passed and the mom and daughter went out to their car to warm up. The Laundromat was not super warm inside.

Everything seems normal…

My roommate and I were on the washing phase so only the two dryers were being used. This bossy lady, BL, entered and started poking around at the giant dryers.

I was sitting next to the dryers because my laundry was in the last washer next to that area and I had just smoked a cigarette and my roommate hates the smell (Side-note: roommate = my wife).

BL starts asking me questions like I am a dryer salesman: “How much does this cost? How long do you get for that? How hot does it get? When should I come back? Will it be completely dry? Will I watch her item?”

She had one item, a bed cover, like the thing that goes in between your sheets and your mattress if you fancy.

My knowledge of dryers is comprised of quarters and button pushing.

I was feeling like BL was about to take over my whole life and erase all the memories I ever had before the moment she entered.

Keep in mind it is Sunday night, I am in solid sweatpants, disheveled beard, stink like John Q Marlboro, and appear like I quite possibly am homeless.

However I was raised to be polite and so I answered her litany of questions. BL sort of stopped talking long enough to allow me to answer but it did not seem like there was any comprehension.

BL: Whose clothes are those? (Pointing to EM’s dryer currently running)

Me: Someone else’s.

BL: Not yours?

Me: (regretting being born) No ma’am.

BL: puts her bedspread into the adjacent giant dryer.

I start to walk the length of the building from the dryers at the back to the front of the store when my wife/roommate is sitting.

BL: (continues talking at me) How do you start this thing? points at dryer.

Me: (I gave strong consideration to ignoring her but I felt like that would not work) Well ma’am, you put quarters in and then you press the button that says start.

BL: It isn’t working.

Me: (still not a certified washer repair tech and on other side of room) I don’t know what to say.

Regrettably my washer beeped and I had to switch my laundry over and so I went back by BL.

BL is dumping quarters from her expensive looking purse into a machine whose digital display is off/dark and below a sign that says “out of order.”

Me: Ma’am, I think that…

BL: (interrupts) It isn’t working, this is ridiculous. I put $4 in already, why isn’t it working?

Well, this is getting weird!

BL then takes her item out and again asks whose clothes are in the dryer. I tell BL that those are someones clothes and there are about 13 other dryers she can use.

BL is not hearing it. She says she needs a big dryer and specifically she needs the one that is running with someone else’s clothes.

For the third time she asks me if the clothes are mine and I point to the parking lot and say the people are right there (I should have said yes, stop touching my stuff you crazy person).

I felt like I had been polite and tried to be helpful but BL didn’t want to listen and I chose to ignore her. I put my clothes in a dryer and went back by my wife.

BL began narrating that she needed this dryer and that she was taking the clothes out. My wife and I exchanged looks.

BL loaded her item, successfully got the dryer started, and came to the front. BL stopped in front of us and recapped the entire time she was in the Laundromat.

She stated that she needed a big dryer, she put $4 in before she realized the first one was broken, that she “had” to take the clothes out of the only other giant dryer (1 of 4 other), that she would be back, and to tell the person that she took their clothes out because it was necessary.

I fully expected her to assign me some chores or expect me to stand vigilant guard over her bedspread. My wife and I avoided eye contact and she eventually left with a “bye!” like we were old pals.

BL got into a giant SUV and drove off like Dale Earnhardt Jr.

My wife thought that she was on drugs and I think that she was just plain deranged from a lifetime of privilege.

A few moments later the Elderly mom and daughter returned and I had to tell them that this crazy person just took their clothes out.

I don’t know if they saw the BL come in and out, and so I figured maybe they think I actually did that to steal 2.50 worth of dryer time from them.

Thank Jebus I found someone to marry me because the only thing that can make a large disheveled man a tad more palatable/believable is another human cosigning to their existence.

My wife reiterated how strange the lady behaved and the mom and daughter bought that it wasn’t us.

They loaded their damp clothes in another dryer and talked amongst themselves. Ten minutes went by and BL comes back to check on her bedspread.

EM asks her flat out why she felt it necessary to take her wet clothes out of the dryer.

Uh oh…

BL seemed genuinely annoyed, confused, and perturbed that some pleb was hassling her about her dryer choices.

BL in a terrific condescending voice attempted to inform EM that she had no choice in the matter, that the fates destined her for that dryer and basically EM should count her lucky stars that EM got to interact with a high quality person such as BL.

I don’t think BL really meant it but she hinted at the fact that she totally could ask EM for a refund of the $4 she put into the first machine.

EM just shook her head. I think she figured out somewhere in BL’s dryer soliloquy that BL was a weirdo and best not to engage.

The best part was when BL’s bedspread was dry and she left. BL again said goodbye to no one in particular like we were all besties.

Let’s see how Reddit users felt about this amusing story!

This commenter lets us know what they would have done.

And this commenter took it a step even further!

Others praised this guy for not intervening.

But overall, everyone thought the situation could have gone further.

I’m with the comments on this one… no one is touching my clothes at the laundromat!

If you liked that post, check out this one about an employee that got revenge on HR when they refused to reimburse his travel.