Imagine being a kid, riding your bike and running inside to watch TV. What would you do if your dad came home with a coworker, but he was furious at you because you left your bike in the driveway?

Would you endure his wrath, defend yourself, or put on the performance of a lifetime?

In this story, one boy takes the last approach, and it probably made his dad even more upset.

Let’s read the whole story.

I’ve been petty since I was in elementary school.

I’m GenX and I thought it was silly to classify these generational groups. Because I know some diabolical genZ and I love them for that! However, this involves my father.

Back in the day getting corporal punishment was a spanking from your father with a thick leather belt.

My dad was a vet from Vietnam and a narcissist. A combination that wasn’t ideal for a parent.

I think I was in 1st grade so 6 or 7 maybe I was in a higher grade, but still young.

Bike riding was a way of life.

My little brother the golden child could never get in trouble no matter how much I tried.

I was no saint. He was a jerk so no regret.

We road bikes everywhere and all the time. From sun up to sun down. Always looking for strangers giving free candy from their generic white van.

My bike was laying in the front yard partly in the driveway because that’s where I dropped it when I ran in the house to watch Gilligan’s Island and probably the 3 Stooges.

Uh-oh!

So my pettiness is this.

My father comes home from work and runs over my bike. Comes in yelling and ready to give me a whooping.

I was about to give in when I saw that he brought home a coworker.

That’s when I had the greatest of ideas.

This kid knew just how to play his dad.

I started to cry, really wailed and was yelling in-between my sobs “please daddy don’t beat me again”. Then I tried to hide behind a chair near his co-worker.

To really sell my performance (and that’s what it was, a preference) I started to pee all in my pants.

My father’s face went white. Like he might lose his job if this guy starts to talk back at work.

My dad changed gears and went into protective mode…..not mine but his own. Saying for whoever would listen that “I don’t beat you”.

His dad asked him why he did that.

The guy had to leave right after my Oscar preference.

My father just looked at me and asked why I did that?

I said I didn’t want a spanking.

He did NOT spank me. A beating is more like it.

I’m kidding he apparently respected my ingenuity or guile.

I’m sure CPS was a thing back then but nothing ever came of it. My next bike was a real P.O.S though.

I swear this is the gospel, not even a little embellishment.

I hope his dad didn’t lose his job.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

This person expected a different ending.

Another person praises the pettiness.

This person’s dad wouldn’t have let the performance stop him.

Another person doesn’t think anything about this story was petty or funny.

That kid should’ve gone into acting.

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