There’s no handbook for raising kids, just trial, error, and a lot of arguments over what “good parenting” looks like.

One father thought his son needed more limits around his behavior, but his wife thought excessive punishment would do more harm than good.

But when their child continued to wreck havoc on the family’s order, it was clear that something needed to change.

Keep reading for the full story.

My wife thinks punishment doesn’t work, we are arguing about this

I have a 5-year-old son and a 1-year-old daughter.

In the past, my wife has had issues with permissive parenting, and I think this is part of that.

Their son faces a few big barriers in his life.

My son is wonderful—very mildly on the spectrum. He has trouble making friends, and part of that is because he can be very annoying.

Today in the car, he started doing this annoying thing where he keeps pretending to scream.

So the father thinks what he really needs is more discipline, but his wife doesn’t agree.

I finally said, “Stop it, or you can’t paint when we get home.” (He loves painting.)

This got him upset for obvious reasons.

My wife says punishment doesn’t work.

He questions her on why she thinks this, and their divide only deepens.

I asked her, “Then why would he stop any bad behavior?”

She says, “Because his consequence will be we don’t want to be around him.”

That sounds wild to me.

The father wonders how this will affect their son as he gets older.

I worry this will result in him growing up completely disrespecting authority.

Additionally, he won’t make friends because we never stop the annoying behavior, so he won’t realize it’s wrong.

AITA for thinking he does need punishment when he doesn’t listen?

Parenting is one of the hardest jobs in life, so when you disagree with your partner, it makes it even harder.

What did Reddit think?

This commenter seems to have a lot of experience working with kids on the spectrum.

This commenter lists a few more.

One way to enforce consequences is to tailor them to your child’s unique situation.

This user has very strong views on parents who partake in permissive parenting.

When it comes to raising kids, discipline isn’t the enemy.

Punishment can still be loving when it’s done with intention.

If you liked that story, check out this post about a group of employees who got together and why working from home was a good financial decision.