Imagine dating someone for a over a year. If someone in their family had a medical emergency and went to the hospital, would you expect them to notify your partner, you, or both of you?

In this story, one man’s girlfriend thinks they should both be notified, and she’s pretty upset when that doesn’t happen.

Now, he feels like he might be selfish, but is he really selfish?

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for not making my girlfriend feel included in family emergency?

Yesterday just before lunch my mom texted me and told me that my grandfather had been taken to the hospital.

This morning I found out he’s going to be okay.

He fell and had a mini stroke. They’re monitoring but he’ll probably be released in a few days.

He told his girlfriend about his grandfather’s situation.

Anyway, my girlfriend and I both work from home. Every day at lunch we call each other and go for a walk around our respective neighborhoods.

When she called I told her what happened and all that I knew was that he was in the hospital. Didn’t know much more than that. I was obviously upset because I didn’t know how serious it was.

After me telling her and asking if that’s all I knew, her response kind of caught me off guard.

She didn’t ask if I was okay, or how I was feeling. Her main concern was that nobody from my family texted her to let her know.

He shares some context about why she might be upset.

We’ve been seeing each other for about a year and a half and, I know she’s struggled quite a bit with trauma from her childhood.

My family have been very welcoming of her, and have had a good relationship with her.

I reassured her that nobody is angry with her, they just texted me because they’re at the hospital and don’t really have much time.

I know she struggles a lot with abandonment and feeling rejected.

He shouldn’t feel selfish, but he does.

I felt like as much I support her through her struggles, the moment I needed support from her, it’s still all about her feelings.

But then I feel selfish for feeling that because I know how upset she was for feeling left out.

A typo made the situation even worse.

After work, she came over to my place and I cooked dinner for us.

She was still upset about not being told about my grandfather. So she asked me to text my mom to say to keep us posted.

I guess because I was both physically and emotionally exhausted from all of this, I texted “keep me posted” instead of “us”.

Now she’s very angry at me because I didn’t include her in the text and she’s angry that it now looks like she doesn’t care about my grandfather.

He’s wondering if he’s a jerk.

I know my family knows she cares, but she seems more concerned about the optics of her concern than actually being concerned about my grandfather.

I guess I’m just feeling confused about the whole thing.

The reason I might be a jerk  is because I didn’t include her in the text to keep us posted and it further makes her seem like she doesn’t care about my grandfather.

Also, I might be selfish in feeling angry that I’ve been there for her, and can’t count on her for support.

It’s his grandfather. She should be there for him not making him feel guilty about who his family chooses to notify about a medical emergency.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

It’s not all about her.

She is in the loop because I’m sure his family assumed he’d tell her.

She’s really concerned about the wrong thing.

Someone who has been married for quite awhile shares their perspective.

She must think she’s the center of the universe.

If you liked that post, check out this post about a rude customer who got exactly what they wanted in their pizza.