In many marriages, husband and wife pool their income to pay the bills. That means if one spouse is out of work, they might both end up struggling financially.

If your spouse used to own his own business but that business closed, would you expect him to look for a job, or would you be willing to take on a second job to make ends meet?

In this story, one woman is in this exact situation, and she definitely thinks her husband should find a job. Everyone else in her family disagrees.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for refusing to get a second job?

My husband and I both started our own businesses 20 years ago. They were moderately successful in that, we weren’t rich, but our financial needs have always been met up until the last 5 years.

My husband’s business is what most would consider a luxury service. When “times are tough”, people do without said service.

My husband tried several things to keep his business afloat, including taking out some loans and made some bad investments that have left us in not the best financial state.

At this point, it costs more to operate his business than he is profiting from it. The writing has been on the wall the past several months, and he’s finally agreed it’s time to close the doors.

She understands how hard this decision was for her husband.

Now, I totally understand that this is something that is upsetting to him. This business was his dream and you can’t just let go of that mentally in a snap, especially not after 20 years.

I have been very supportive and let him vent.

I have encouraged him to go to therapy, though he has turned me down.

I want to be as sensitive as possible.

It’s going to be a huge change for her husband to get a job.

I wish my business were enough to keep us afloat until he was ready to figure out what he wanted to do next. Unfortunately, with all the bills we have, we can’t afford for him to sit around and not do anything.

Neither of us went to college, which does mean his options are limited.

Going back to school isn’t financially possible right now, nor does he want to do that.

He’d have to have a boss, potentially work weekends and weird hours, all the things you get to avoid when you have your own business of 20 years. I get why this isn’t appealing to him, but unfortunately, it’s what he has to do.

They’ve been arguing a lot about this.

My husband has really pushed back on getting a new job.

I’ve tried to be as sympathetic as possible, but again, we can’t afford for him to sit home all day.

We’ve talked about it, several times. I show sympathy and empathy. I, again, tell him to seek therapy.

It always ends in an argument where I am told I am being unreasonable.

Her sister-in-law had another suggestion.

The other day, my sister-in-law (his brother’s wife) came over to talk to me. She spoke to me as if I were 5 years old and said I needed to give him a break.

She said that I cannot expect him to go back to having a boss after 20 years. She suggested that I get a second job.

With the hours I work, I’d never get to see my kids or husband at that point.

She is not willing to work 2 jobs while her husband doesn’t work at all.

I said I’m not going to do that.

If my business went under, of course I’d go and get a different job, but it is unreasonable for everyone to expect me to work all these hours while my husband does nothing (his help with the housework and the kids has dropped since he had to close the business, so I doubt me working would change that, so I’d be working 7 days a week, plus all that.)

My sister-in-law just kept telling me that this is a sacrifice I should be making and that I am being unreasonable.

Everyone else seems to agree, including my husband. I feel insane. Am I a jerk for not wanting to get a second job and expecting him to get one?

Obviously, the sister-in-law didn’t come up with this idea on her own. She was probably told to suggest this idea by her husband or by OP’s husband.

OP is not crazy. It would be crazy to work 2 jobs while her husband sits around the house sulking. Could he start a different business? One that isn’t a luxury service?

Let’s see what Reddit suggests.

Here’s a suggestion of what to say to the sister-in-law.

He needs to get a job.

It’s his problem to solve, not hers.

It’s not fair to expect her to do everything.

This person thinks she needs to take a different approach.

Sulking doesn’t pay the bills.

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