Imagine having two children. One went to college and one did not.

If could afford to pay off the student loans for the child who went to college, would you feel that you owe something to the other child?

In this story, one woman is in this situation, and her son, who didn’t go to college, thinks she owes him cash.

Is he right, or is he being unreasonable?

Let’s read the whole story to decide.

AITA for paying off my daughter’s student loans but not giving the same amount to her brother, who didn’t go to university?

My husband passed away unexpectedly in early 2024 from a heart attack.

I received a life insurance payout and have been managing it carefully.

Recently, I used a portion (around $60K) to pay off my daughter’s student loans.

Now my son is upset, saying I’m playing favorites because I did not give him the same amount of money as his sister.

She explains why her daughter went to college.

Back in 2005, my daughter was 18, very bright, but dealing with depression and unsure what to do after school.

I pressured her hard to go to university because I thought it was the best path for her.

She wasn’t ready but went anyway to please her father and I. She ended up doing history because it was the most tolerable thing to her and she just wanted to get a degree to get us off her back.

That degree didn’t lead anywhere – she worked low-paying jobs for years and accumulated significant debt as her loan value increased due to indexation (similar to interest).

She went back to school.

At 30, frustrated with her employment prospects, she went back to university and got a law degree (in our country, law can be done as an undergrad).

She now has a good job in that field, but her debt was basically double because of the degree she only did because I pressured her.

I’ve always felt some guilt over that, and now that I’m in a position to help, I chose to pay off her loans.

The situation was quite different for her son.

Her younger brother never went to university.

He’s not academic, has never been very smart, always hated school and dropped out at 15, and I never pushed him the way I did her.

He’s been working as a postal delivery worker for years and has no student.

When he found out I paid off her loans because I accidentally sent him a text message meant for her, he demanded the same amount in cash.

She doesn’t think cash is the same as paying off student loans.

I told him that I’ve done this specifically because it’s an educational expense. Giving him cash will feel to my daughter like a punishment all over again – her brother gets fun money, and all she gets is the degree I pressured her to do paid off.

And honestly, I don’t think a lump sum would be good for him – he doesn’t manage money well and tends to spend impulsively.

AITA for saying no, given that I did this to correct what I feel was a mistake (pushing my daughter into University before she was ready).

I think she made the right decision. Her son doesn’t have any student loans. If he did and she didn’t help him pay them off, then that might be different.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

This is a good idea.

Here’s a similar comment.

Here are some more ideas of ways she could offer to help her son.

She might actually be playing favorites without realizing it.

Sometimes it’s hard for parents to treat their children equally.

If you liked that story, check out this post about a group of employees who got together and why working from home was a good financial decision.