When you go to college, you immediately gain a lot more control over your life than you might be used to.

You can choose what you eat, when you sleep, who you date and what you do with your time.

But one thing that you generally cannot control is your roommate.

For some people this works out very well, with lifelong friendships as a result. But for others, the situation is a lot more bumpy.

The guy in this story was lucky with his roommate, who he gets on well with. But her boyfriend is presenting him significantly more problems.

Read on to find out why he’s considering asking him to stop sleeping over.

WIBTA if I ban my roommate’s boyfriend from staying the night?

I am a 19-year-old man at college, and like many I have a roommate.

We were randomly assigned, and I got a reasonable roommate (a woman, also aged 19).

She was seeing this guy (20, male) and I was fine with him spending the night sometimes. He seemed to be fine, so I didn’t really care.

But things were not as they first seemed.

Over the past few weeks, he has been getting really upset and angry at things (usually something me or my roommate said) with no communication as to why.

He’s also being overall unhygienic, and overly blunt to the point of coming off as a bit rude.

I’ve been trying to let it slide since I’m typically not one for confrontation, but it’s gotten to the point where sleepovers are a nightmare.

And his circumstances are making this quite difficult.

Not to get too deep, but I am a very traumatized person, so if I do not feel safe around someone when sleeping or going to sleep I cannot sleep.

I do not feel 100% safe around him, and because of this it has made any time he spends the night my own personal hell.

This lack of sleep on top of my pre-existing chronic illness has caused me to feel sick.

But this guy is very keen not to have a negative effect on others.

But I don’t want him to feel like he’s not welcome or hurt my roommates feelings as he’s over what feels like a reasonable amount.

But I also don’t want this to mess with college.

Would it be wrong of me to ban him from staying the night?

AITA?

It’s so clear how hard this guy has tried to be welcoming and hospitable to his roommate’s boyfriend.

But the unpredictable behavior is understandably unsettling, and it’s obviously having a big impact on his quality of life.

And it’s important that both roommates are feeling safe in their own home, not just one.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit had to say about this.

This person agreed that he had as much right to be comfortable as she did.

While others explained that it might not pan out too well.

And this Redditor thought that he wasn’t right to ban her boyfriend from sleeping over.

Kudos to this guy for trying hard to be a supportive roommate, and always being respectful of his roommate and her boyfriend – despite the fact that he is making him uncomfortable.

But his comfort is important, and his ability to sleep in his own home is vital.

It’s worth him trying to open up to his roommate.

If she is a good person, she’ll take his trauma seriously and sleep over at her boyfriend’s place instead.

It’s the kind thing to do.

If you liked that story, check out this post about a group of employees who got together and why working from home was a good financial decision.