Some conversations sound sweet on the surface until you realize how deep they cut.

So, what would you do if your husband asked to name your baby after his late girlfriend, whether the baby is a boy or a girl?

Would you agree as a way to honor her memory? Or would you stand your ground to protect your own feelings?

In the following story, one pregnant wife is dealing with this exact scenario and isn’t on board with her husband’s idea.

Here’s what’s going on.

AITA for not wanting to use any part of my husband’s late girlfriend’s name for our child?

My husband and I have been together for 6 years, married for 3, and now we’re expecting our first child.

My husband lost his first girlfriend, Emmy, when they were both 21. They’d been together for almost six years, and he truly loved her.

He was honest with me about her and the fact that she would always be someone he missed. He had maintained a relationship with Emmy’s parents, which was always okay with me.

He seemed in a good place to be in another relationship, and he dated before me, so it was reassuring.

Apparently, her husband always wanted his ex’s name to be part of his child’s name.

About 6 weeks ago, my husband mentioned that if we had a girl, he would love to use Emmy, or Grace, which was Emmy’s middle name, somewhere in the name. He told me it was something he always thought of doing.

And he told me that for a boy, he had ways of using masculine forms of Emmy or Grace somewhere in a boy’s name.

I told him I wasn’t really on board with that and he never mentioned this to me before. He asked me why he would, and then said he didn’t know why I’d be difficult about it.

Then, he brought it up again and tried to force it.

It was a few days later that he told me he wanted to use the names, and he was putting his foot down that he should be allowed to. He said we can add it as a second middle name if I won’t consider a first name or first middle name, but that it should absolutely be in there somewhere.

He said only someone jealous would be hesitant to use it like I am. I asked him how he’d feel about it if he were in my shoes, if I wanted to name our child after someone else that I would always love but couldn’t be with.

He told me he would suck it up for my sake and accept that the dead aren’t competition. Then he said he would actually be the one suggesting it, and there would be no weirdness for him.

After he made the next comment, she started questioning her marriage.

It was a couple of weeks later before he brought it up again, and this time he said he would do this even if I loved my late partner more and was only with him because I couldn’t be with my late partner (if I had one, which I don’t).

That became something more emotional for me because it felt like a confession when he brought it up, because it was randomly said to me. But maybe it also felt like he might be speaking for his feelings and how he might think I’d feel.

I never had an issue with him loving Emmy or remembering her, feeling sad about her death, or anything. I just never thought I’d be asked to name my child after her.

Now, his sister is involved, and things are awkward.

To me, it feels weird and wrong, and this whole thing has made me insecure in our marriage. I told him as much, and he suggested I was jealous and shouldn’t be so threatened by someone who died.

He told his sister what was happening a week ago, and now she’s asking me to explain my feelings and asking if I’m a woman or a little girl because only a little girl would be so jealous of a dead partner.

I asked my husband why he told his sister, because now she was getting involved. He said he had to vent to someone, and he felt I was being unreasonable and unkind about this.

AITA?

Wow! It’s easy to see why he would want to do this, but that’s not just his decision.

Let’s check out how the folks over at Reddit think she should handle this.

For this reader, a baby name takes two yes answers.

According to this comment, she gets to fill out the paperwork anyway.

This person suggests she leave him.

Here’s someone who thinks she should’ve known this info.

She should not back down. It’s her baby, too, and she has every right to refuse a name for any reason, or no reason at all.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.