While we’re lucky for every year we get to spend on this Earth, some years are without question ones to forget.

Perhaps everything you worked for came to nothing, perhaps you lost someone important to you, perhaps your mental or physical health were particularly testing.

For the man in this story, the death of his mom and terminal illness of his dad made for a truly terrible year, which really hit him when the holidays came around.

But when this interfered with plans with a friend, his friend was far from understanding.

Read on to find out how the conflict between them led to months of radio silence.

AITA for cancelling hanging out with my friend?

I am 29-years-old, and last December had an appointment with one of my best friends to hang out the day after New Year’s.

It had been a rough year. My mom had died a few months earlier, and I never felt like I had the time to deal with it or grieve properly.

My younger brother and I had to deal with the practicalities like finances, emptying the house, and getting rid of all the stuff etc.

It was exhausting.

Throughout this time I was also working – and though the work was what I needed at the time, the entire situation was just exhausting and sad.

And then over the holidays, things kept getting worse.

Shortly after my mom died, in November last year, my Dad got diagnosed with cancer. Crazy.

When I finally had some holidays in December, my dad was in a critical condition and it was not certain if he would pull through due to complications.

Needless to say this was a rough and trying time.

Furthermore, during this holiday my mom’s death hit me. I used to spend both Christmas and New Year’s with her.

I can only describe the feeling as a deep dark loss. I was sad, empty, tired, and I needed time to try and remember her during the holidays. Even though I was sad, keeping her memory alive helped me get through those holidays.

Despite this, they tried to do something to keep their spirits up.

For some reason, despite knowing myself, I thought it was a good time to meet up with my friend.

I should have known better and realized it would me a wreck, since I needed some quiet and alone time.

We made a date for New Year’s, and on the day I cancelled. During this day we also got news that my father’s conditioned had worsened. So yeah. Not the best day.

My friend got upset I had cancelled, understandably so. But God, I had hoped for a bit of compassion.

Let’s see how the friend acted when he cancelled.

Instead, he was saying some things that cut deep, in the line of: how can we be friends if we never see each other (I had seen him a month before), and about me not being there for him.

At this time I just really a needed kindness and a bit of understanding.

His reaction made me upset, and I replied saying that it makes me angry and upset that he can’t understand why I’m cancelling.

Long story short, and argument ensued. And to be honest, after that reaction and what I had been through, I thought him quite frankly a selfish jerk.

Read on to find out how the man is feeling about the situation now that some time has passed.

I still don’t understand how he managed to make the situation about himself and that he was going through a rough time.

I am sorry but after that year, I really failed to understand in what way exactly he was going through a rough time. He’d just bought a house, has a nice family, had no deaths or dramas etc.

Anyway, now after some time looking back I understand I should have just not made the plan to hangout, as I was a wreck at the time.

After this friend hiatus our relationship has never been the same. Am I wrong for not seeking contact for almost eight months after this argument?

AITA?

There are some points in life when we really need our friends, and for this guy, this point was one of them.

He needed his friend to try to understand, to show him some compassion, and maybe just give him the space he needed – in spite of the cancelled plans.

But he got none of that, instead his friend showed a lack of understanding about his friend’s situation, adding an argument to the tribulations in his life.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit thought about this.

This person agreed that the friend should have been more compassionate toward his friend’s horrible situation.

But others gave him the benefit of the doubt, suggesting that this guy could have tried to understand what his friend was going through before passing judgement.

Meanwhile, this Redditor urged an honest conversation between the pair.

This isn’t friendship.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.