Parents can get wildly defensive over how they raise their kids, especially to people with no kids at all.

What would you do if a family member repeatedly kept coming for your mama bear instincts? One woman asked for validation on an altercation she had with a family member over this.

Here’s what went down.

AITAH for demanding a woman who is trying to have a kid to stop giving unsolicited parenting advice?

I (32F) come from a family whose members have long worked in the legal system.

Just to have an idea, my father is a prosecutor, his brother and brother’s wife are both lawyers, my grandfather was a judge, another uncle works for the Police so ever since I was little I was very aware how messed up this world is.

I myself started my career as a lawyer but I gave that up after I realized I cannot cope…

There are already a lot of things to unpack here.

My husband and I have 2 kids: 14M (who is actually my step son) and 3M.

The oldest’s bio mom is not in the picture and I really consider him my son, it does not matter that I did not give birth to him.

He also calls me mom and all the drill.

The problem is my husband’s cousin Lily (40F) loves to always comment on how we parent our kids.

Some people make this their favorite activity.

Yesterday during a family function Lily started explaining that we are awful parents because we don’t allow 14M to have sleepovers, that he is missing out a lot of fun and he will end up resenting us when he is older.

I don’t consider that we are strict parents but this is one of our main rules, the kids are allowed to only spend the night at their grandparents’ houses (so my parents and my in laws) and my BIL&SIL’s house (my husband’s brother and his wife).

That’s it.

And she doesn’t consider herself strict?

These are the people we trust to watch our kids and it’s final.

As I said, I have seen sooo many bad things happening to children, some of them committed even by family members that I would rather have my child hate me when he’s older than putting him in danger or him being scared for life.

It’s not the case because our older son understands.

Her line of thinking makes sense, but sheesh.

He is a very mature teenager and we explained to him why we are doing what we are doing.

He is allowed to visit his friends during the day, we all have an emergency code to use in case he feels uncomfortable or not safe so that we go get him asap and he is fine with it.

The thing is I am so fed up with Lily that I snapped and told her she is free to raise her kids as she wants but she has no right to comment on how we raise our kids.

Definitely a valid frustration. Reaction? Not sure.

She started crying mentioning I know that she is trying to have a kid and it is hard, that I am cruel and she just wants to help.

I told her that when we’ll need her help or advice, we’ll ask for it but until that happens, she needs to focus on her family and leave us the f*** alone.

Now I am wondering, was I too direct or an AH for how I reacted?

That’s going to be tough to come back from.

I know really wanting a baby and not happening can be hard, but I don’t think this gives her the right to offer us advice.

She has no idea what it’s actually like to raise a kid… and it’s not just any piece of advice, it’s related to our kids safety.

The original poster was definitely a little intense, but Lily crossed a line. Let’s see how Reddit chimed in.

The comments were fairly torn.

Some people showed sympathy for both parties.

One person tried to see both sides.

Another agreed to disagree.

Though someone did offer a practical solution.

She may be a helicopter parent, but she also doesn’t care.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.