Favoritism has no place in parenting.

The man in this story recently discovered how much his parents favor his twin brother while always casting him as the bad guy. So he decided not to join them on a family trip.

Yet, he’s conflicted about this decision.

Read the full story below for all the details.

AITA for not wanting to join my family on a trip for my grandmother’s 90th birthday?

My twin brother (29M) and I moved abroad a few years ago, with help from our parents. The plan was to build a new life, work hard, and make them proud.

I went with my wife (29F), and my brother had a GF of a few months that he left behind.

From the start, my wife and I carried most of the weight. I found work first, managed our housing, and handled paperwork.

My brother spent recklessly, barely helped, and constantly got sympathy from my parents.

Then his brother was finally honest.

When we ran into financial trouble, I found out he had spent most of our shared savings, and couldn’t even say on what.

Around that time, he admitted he never wanted to move abroad and only did it because it was “expected.”

When he finally decided to move back home, my mom paid for his ticket.

I thought that would bring peace, but it just deepened the divide.

This man realized that his parents has been coddling his twin brother.

My parents brushed off everything that had happened, made excuses for him, and implied I was overreacting.

In 2024, he came back to this country, pompous because he had a job.

My parents called me constantly, pushing me to let him live with me “until he gets settled.”

I refused. I didn’t want to reopen old wounds or live with someone who had betrayed my trust.

The tension in his family just got worse.

Then this year (2025), my parents and relatives visited.

It was tense. No matter how polite I was, hosting them, keeping the house warm, never saying no, I was still treated like the disappointing son.

My father even called me stingy in my own home.

It made something click: nothing I do will ever be enough for them, especially when my brother can do no wrong.

So he decided not to join the family trip.

Yesterday, they called again with “good news,” a big family vacation next year for my grandmother’s 90th birthday. Everyone’s supposedly going, and they just assumed I’d join, no one asked about costs or time off work.

When I said I wasn’t sure I could afford it, they guilt-tripped me immediately: “It’s your grandma’s big birthday! How can you not be excited? Everyone will be there except you?”

I love my grandmother, but the thought of spending money and time to fly somewhere just to be belittled again makes me feel sick. I’m tired of being the responsible one who gets treated like the failure.

So, AITA for not being excited, or possibly refusing, to go on this family trip?

Twin brother has some growing up to do, and the parents need to let him.

People in the comments on Reddit are sharing their two cents.

Here’s sound advice from this person.

Here’s more support for his decision.

Here’s a solid suggestion.

Even more valid advice.

And lastly, this person has some things to say.

Mollycoddling a fully grown man can’t be good for his growth.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.