Setting clear rules around childcare can feel simple in theory but messy in practice, especially when it comes to family.

So when a mother set common sense ground rules for her mother, her perfectly reasonable request sparked a backlash she didn’t expect.

Read on for the full story.

AITA For rules about babysitting?

I told my mom that she cannot actively take substances while babysitting.

Instead of being understanding, her mom immediately got defensive.

She got upset and said that I was giving her an ultimatum, and she doesn’t do ultimatums, so she isn’t going to babysit.

I always travel the hour and a half to stay with her and my other family for the holidays and for the random times they come into town so they can spend time with them, so it isn’t an issue until now because I have work.

Her family quickly isolated her by taking her mother’s side.

My brother and grandma agreed with my mom.

I’d rather not take any chances, and I actually don’t do any of these things, so I’m not being a hypocrite.

Any time I drink, my husband is there and he is sober.

AITA?

This sound like a very reasonable request.

What did Reddit think?

This family’s priorities are most definitely not in order.

Her mother is likely only mad because she got called out.

This mother really isn’t asking that much from her family.

This situation has made it clear that maybe her family isn’t the best choice for child care.

She kept her expectations simple, and her mom still turned it into an argument.

A competent caregiver really isn’t that much to ask for.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.