When you have children, it’s normal to make them the centre of your life – after all, what could be more important than this mini version of yourself, and its ability to navigate the world safely and surrounded by love.

But as the child grows up, and as your family grows too, it’s normal to give the child some responsibilities, with the caveat that you are, of course, still the parent and ultimately responsible.

And that’s what has happened within the four-child family in this story – except the delegation of responsibilities has been extremely unequal.

Read on to find out what burden has finally led to their oldest son planning to move out of the family home.

AITA for “threatening” to move out?

I’m 23-year-old, and I finished university a little less than a year ago, and live at home still.

I’m the oldest son, and I have an older and a younger sister. My parents have three biological kids and one foster kid.

He came to us not very long after he was born – probably less than a month, because his mother is seen as an unfit parent and had to give up all her children before and after him as well. His biological father is unknown.

My oldest sister has moved out, my little sister Katie is sixteen, my foster brother Jake is fifteen.

Let’s learn a little more about their living situation.

My parents’ house is old. Very very old, in the sense that if you want to renovate it’s a pain in the *** because everything has been renovated a million times already.

The heating works via an oven you throw wood into. Want hot water or for it not to be ice cold? Start a fire, wait an hour, it’ll start heating up slowly. This is not as big of a deal in summer, but it’s annoying in winter.

I have a dog who is fully mine and has been my responsibility since I was a teen. I feed her raw food, just like my parents’ dog.

My parents are not interested in learning anything about it, but their dog doesn’t know anything but raw, and they don’t ever want to switch that.

And all these things are starting to grate on him.

My younger siblings don’t know how the oven works (they refuse to learn, regardless of how often they’re shown) and also refuse to take care of anything animal related.

My parents both still work, and the bus connections where we live are awful, so at least once a week I’m driving both of my siblings somewhere.

Now they’re both on school break (fall break), and my brother plays video games late into the night.

This wouldn’t be an issue, since he wears a headset. Only he yells. I don’t know about you but I don’t wanna be woken up by yelling over Fortnite at 2am when I have to get up at 6am for work.

So he decided to speak to his brother about the issue.

I tell him, he stops for a day, and then it starts again. It’s like that every break, and my parents say I need to be understanding because he has ADHD.

I’m not a doctor but that doesn’t make you yell in the middle of the night, does it?

Now in the past I’d just ignore it. But I have savings, I could move out, move away, and enjoy my freedom.

My parents don’t want that because, “Oh but Katie gets cold when we’re working in the morning” or, “Who’s gonna drive Jake to Chess?” and, ” Who’s gonna feed Bello?”

And all this guilt-tripping led to him putting his foot down.

I told them either they get him to shut up at night or they can deal with it themselves and I’ll move out.

My mom claims I’m threatening them with that. I don’t think that’s a threat, but a boundary. I just want to sleep.

In part I can understand why it’s upsetting – they’d have to change their work schedules and my dad would have to do all the physical work around the house himself (Jake does not help).

I don’t want to be some ungrateful son who treats his parents like dirt, but I’m so annoyed with being woken up.

AITA?

Sure this kid is grown up now, but he’s still being incredibly parentified and taken advantage of by his parents – and his acceptance of this suggests it’s likely nothing new.

They have four children, and yet they’re relying on the second-oldest child to do things that the two younger children make absolutely no effort with themselves.

They’re treating him like a de-facto parent, but undermining him when he asserts his need to not be woken intermittently thorugh the night, and it’s totally unfair.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit thought about this.

This person thought that he needed to leave.

While others pointed out the implications of the sleep deprivation.

Meanwhile, others called out his parents for taking advantage of him.

For his own wellbeing and for the harmony of the family unit as a whole, it’s important that he moves out and starts his own life.

His parents chose to have children, and they will have to figure it out for themselves.

Right now, his resentment is building, and if it gets much worse it’s going to threaten his family relationships – unless his parents take stock, rein in their foster son’s noisy gaming and sort out the overburdening on their older son.

He’s doing so much, with so little reward.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.