A 25-year-old woman says her friendship with her roommate has been consumed by one thing: her roommate’s toxic, screaming matches with her abusive boyfriend.

Despite offering support for years, nothing changes. Now the boyfriend is suddenly acting nice to the storyteller (after the roommate told him she “hates” him) and the nightly crying sessions have started to take a toll.

She’s wondering if she’d be wrong to finally set a boundary and refuse to keep talking about the relationship.

WIBTA: if i told my roommate i can’t help her with her relationship anymore

So i (25f) have a roommate (32f) who has a abusive boyfriend (26m),

Me and my roommate have always been good and enjoy to spend time together few times a week.

But whenever her boyfriend comes over the whole day its one big screaming match (with him being the only one screaming).

Yikes.

This has been going on for the past few years and usually ends with him leaving and ignoring her for days.

I’ve told her many times that she deserves better and that he is a big a****** but it doesn’t matter.

Now few weeks ago he started acting extremely nice to me and i found out she told him that i hate him but didn’t give the honest reason why.

Oh geez.

So now i feel disrespected to be used to make him feel bad i guess (cause he has being trying to get me to like him).

Meanwhile the screaming and ignoring her didn’t stop and she wants to talk to me everytime it happens.

When i wanna go to the store she sometimes stands next to my door crying waiting to talk to me.

That’s wild.

This is multiple times a week. But i try to tell her that all i can say is to “break up cause he’s breaking her.”

But that only makes her list the things that she does wrong in her mind like “asking to much, wanting to spend one day a week together ” what to me seems healthy to ask.

So WIBTA to tell her i don’t wanna talk about it anymore cause it has a impact on my life as well and i need to have my rest from the situation?

Most commenters agreed she’s reached her limit.

This person says emotional burnout is real and she’s not obligated to be an on-call therapist. 

This person suggests she point her roommate toward professional help or a domestic abuse hotline before stepping back completely.

And this person says no. Just no. Do NOT let him in, ever.

When helping turns into helplessness, sometimes the kindest act is knowing when to stop trying to fix what isn’t yours to fix.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.