When a loved one has a medical crisis, you want to be there for them to support them in every way you possibly can.

What would you do if your mom had cancer, and the doctors recommended surgery, but she just wanted to take herbal supplements instead and she needed you to help her financially?

That is what happened to the daughter in this story, and she doesn’t want to support her mom’s bad medical decisions, so she won’t give her money unless she does the surgery.

WIBTA if I cut of financial support if my mom refused medical help?

My mom had been recently diagnosed w/thyroid cancer.

I’m sure this was very scary.

She had a partial thyroidectomy months ago from a medical mission that we pursued even if its hours away from our city.

And now doctors are recommending a complete thyroidectomy on the same medical mission and they’re asking her to cooperate but she’s refusing.

I certainly hope this isn’t true.

She thinks the doctors and my family friend/aunt (which she previously had a misunderstanding with) are faking the diagnosis to “milk money” even though she’s not spending anything.

All the money is coming from me and my dad.

Oh, this can be so dangerous!

She says she just needs herbal remedies and it’s not a big deal. And she thinks that me breaking down was them fearmongering me as if her having a cancer isn’t horrible enough.

I’m supporting her financially every month because she doesn’t have work since she’s recovering from the previous partial thyroidectomy and has my two young stepsiblings with her (step father was neglectful and abusive so she have the custody of the two).

No, that is a massive burden.

I don’t want her to give me that responsibility if the cancer gets worse. It’s her fault for refusing to cooperate.

I went to her apartment yesterday, even if I don’t want to talk to her and she really didn’t want to do the complete thyroidectomy because she claims it won’t get worse and she’ll just use herbs she reads on the internet.

Financing her could be seen as enabling.

I don’t want to fund her refusal of treatment and raise my younger siblings if things got worse.

When I reached my limit and just broke down, she started self pitying and crying but I didn’t feel the need to comfort her because its her own doing and I’m doing my best for her survival.

That is just insulting.

What really gets me is she always thinks I’m being manipulated by my dad and our family friend/aunt on what to say as if I have no agency on what to feel whatsoever.

They’re helping me because I don’t have all the knowledge on the paperwork and hospital visits and money. I’m just 22 years old and I needed adults to help me help her.

It seems like her mom is getting drawn into the ‘holistic medicine’ thing, which can be great, but can also be very dangerous. I wouldn’t want to finance her bad choices either.

Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say about it.

I’m wondering this as well.

Good point.

Yeah, sadly this is the right move.

There is no reason to support her dangerous decisions financially.

This commenter has some good advice.

Why not surgery and the holistic treatments?

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.