Marrying into a demanding is hard enough, adding a kid into the mix is a whole new dynamic.

How would you handle your in-laws having unrealistic expectations of how often they’d get to see you and your newborn? One woman recently expressed frustration about precisely this on Reddit.

Here’s what happened.

AITA for not visiting my in-laws even though they visit us often?

My mother in-in-law is upset because we haven’t visited her in about a year.

My husband and I have a 1.5 year old and traveling with a baby is..a lot.

Not a good time or the parents or the other passengers.

Meanwhile, my in-laws come to visit us every other month.

We always welcome them into our home, and we FaceTime with them multiple times a week so they can see our daughter.

They’re truly welcome anytime.

This is a rare dynamics for new parents!

They’re also visiting us for Thanksgiving and we took the week off of work to spend quality time with them.

They have two homes- one is a 4 hour flight away, the other is a hour flight- and they’re healthy, retired, and have plenty of disposable income.

Must be nice.

My husband and I both work full time.

We also have a nanny we pay regardless of whether we’re home or not, and honestly, we don’t do much these days besides hang out as a family.

So flying somewhere else to “hang out” the exact same way just isn’t appealing to us right now.

That’s a valid perspective.

We visited last Christmas and are planning to visit again this Christmas (for a week each time).

When I recently tried to explain that it’s hard for us to travel with a baby and apologized for not making it a priority, my MIL said, “it’s always going to be hard. It’s never going to get easier,” and told us it feels like a one-way street: she puts in the effort and we don’t.

Sounds like she just needs some perspective.

From my perspective, we stay in touch constantly, we host them often, and we aren’t refusing to visit- we’re just not prioritizing multi-hour flights with a toddler when they’re able and willing to come to us.

AITA for letting them visit us instead of making trips to visit them?

A common, but still frustrating, family conundrum. Let’s see how the good people of Reddit weighed in.

Most encouraged communication off the bat.

Others were slightly judgmental.

One person suggested a gentle approach.

Another person offered a different perspective.

And some people thought more distance was the solution.

Relationships are a two-way, often broken, road.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.