Real friends give each other enough space to grow.

This woman has a long-term friend who’s a bit controlling and jealous, so she refused to spend New Year’s Eve with her, but her friend did not take it too well.

Read the full story below for more details.

AITA for telling my long-term friend that I want to spend New Year’s Eve in another city?

I have been friends with “M” for a little over five years. We’ve celebrated New Year’s together almost every year except one, when she lived abroad for a while.

Even though we’ve known each other for a long time, I’ve never truly felt comfortable around her. She tends to act very controlling, gets jealous whenever I spend time with anyone else, and expects me to share every detail of my life with her.

If I’m honest about my plans or feelings, she gets offended and makes everything about herself. Because of this, I often hide things from her – even harmless stuff like hanging out with my boyfriend – just to avoid her passive-aggressive comments or guilt-tripping.

Recently, I finally found a healthy friend group and a boyfriend who supports me and respects my boundaries. I feel much more grounded and safe with them than I ever did with her.

So this year I decided I don’t want to celebrate New Year’s in the same way as before.

This woman and her friend’s conversation went like this.

A few days ago we had this conversation:

Her: “What are your plans for New Year?”

Me: “I’m not sure yet.”

Her: “What do you mean you’re not sure? So you already have a plan that’s NOT with me?”

Me: “I want to go to [city], but I’m still thinking.”

Her: “What? To who? To celebrate??”

Me: “Yeah.”

Her: “With your boyfriend?? Seriously? Wow. I invited you SO many times to travel with me and you always refused. I’ve invited you to every holiday for YEARS and you do this? You didn’t even tell me anything.”

Me: “I said from the beginning I’m not sure yet.”

Her: “Well, good luck then. Go hang out with your boyfriend 🙂 Clearly, you two have the same interests 😜😜😜”

She felt guilty.

Her last messages really annoyed me, so I didn’t reply.

I don’t feel like I’m doing anything wrong by wanting to celebrate somewhere else, with people who actually respect me.

But the guilt is creeping in because we’ve known each other for so long.

AITA for telling her I want to spend New Year’s in another city instead of with her?

If she guilt-trips your happiness, that’s not friendship.

Here’s what other people have to say about this.

This user is weighing in.

Another person shares a similar experience.

Short and simple.

This reader supports her decision.

People are taking her side.

Choose real friends, not emotional parasites.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.