Imagine finding out that your brother is engaged. If you were heavily involved in the wedding planning process, would you be willing to go along with any big changes the bride and groom make, or would there be certain changes that would be deal breakers for you?

In this story, one woman was happily helping her brother plan his wedding, but now the wedding date and location make it almost impossible for her to even go the wedding.

She’s not sure what to do.

Let’s read all the details.

AITA for RSVPing no to my brother’s wedding?

My F (32) brother M (23) Rick proposed to his fiancé F (23) in April 2024.

Ever since the wedding binder started (no joke) I’ve been included in the process of brainstorming for this dream wedding and am happy I’ve been a part of the speculation.

In Nov 2024 they put a deposit towards a beautiful venue around an hour from where we currently live for the future date of August 8th 2027.

Later they made the decision to move the wedding to the same date but in our home town in the state of Texas since most of my SIL family is there.

Also because they want to move back and purchase a home there so they thought they could save some money by having a reception in their new house.

But that means OP would have to travel for the wedding.

We currently live in South Dakota so it became a destination wedding for me and my mom but it’s fine because we had tons of time to prepare.

Now for the issue we have at hand… we all received notice last week that they are changing their plans to a Vegas elopement in July of 2026, and here’s the problem I’m pregnant and due four months prior to their new wedding date.

When they texted me the news all I said was “congratulations I hope you have a wonderful time and have the wedding you have always wanted” even though inside I was crushed.

You see me and my brother and mom are very close so not in a million years would I dreamed that I would miss my brother’s wedding.

But it’s almost impossible to go.

However they have put us in a really tight spot.

I didn’t want to be a downer but a couple days ago we (me and my brother) were talking about the wedding and I told him to change your mind to a destination elopement and only give people 7 months notice is not enough time for people to prepare.

I explained that he needs to be ready for a lot of people to drop out. And that odds are I won’t be able to go because I have a baby due just four months prior and we are not in the best financial situation let alone my mom whom is currently out of work.

Prior to this I was going to be heavily involved in the wedding festivities but now I basically won’t be able to participate in anything the wedding shower is in Texas and for basically everything I will be too pregnant or with a new born.

She’s not sure what to do.

So Am I being too uptight or is this a ridiculous ask on their part?

Mind you my SIL had the audacity to say my parents are in a poor financial situation from their own doings which is ironic considering this would be another poor financial decision and my brother honestly suggested I take a 25+ hour road trip with 2 under two.

Yet my mom is guilt tripping stating that we can’t miss it no matter what.

But honestly they are the ones that moved up the wedding knowing I would be freshly post-partum. So Reddit am I required to go I need help????

They’re eloping. That’s different than a huge wedding. I don’t think she should feel bad about not going.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

This person wouldn’t bring a baby to Vegas either.

Eloping doesn’t usually mean your whole family goes.

Another person reassures OP that it’s okay not to go.

This person doesn’t think the marriage will last.

An elopement is not the same as a destination wedding.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.