Isn’t it frustrating when family members cross their boundaries?

This user shares how her BIL lectured her on parenting when his kids are the ones that need better parenting.

Check out how things got worse!

AITA for telling my BIL that he and his family shouldn’t come over after a holiday dispute of our children?

My brother in law (35m) messaged me (30f) today stating cryptic messages of “you better keep that boy in check” and that him and his family (non-binary partner (35) two children 11f and 6m) wouldn’t be coming over for a while.

She explains what had happened earlier…

Me and my husband (34m) have two children, 11f and 2m, both of which have disabilities to which everyone in our family knows about.

I told him just to not come over and brought up issues with them and their kids.

We had Xmas at our house this year. We didn’t invite anyone over (everyone of my husbands family was just like ‘hey we’re coming over’) which I’m fine with.

We spent Thanksgiving just with our kids and didn’t mind the company this week.

This is where things started falling apart…

They (husbands parents and grandparents and uncles) brought over everything (food, drinks, paper plates, etc) which was nice.

Our little family opened up our stockings and presents before anyone came over and I had the kid’s things placed in their bedrooms. Once everyone came over we hung out and chilled.

My son kept trying to play with his cousins and they kept running away from him. They were running jumping flipping over the couch, etc. just a lot of hyperactive kid behavior and my son wanted to join.

They would go inside the kids’ rooms and come back out etc. At one point my son just got frustrated and threw a drumstick toy (about 6cm long) at his 6 yr old cousin.

That’s INSANE!

BIL’s kiddo runs up to us stating a toy was thrown at him and I put my son in timeout.

Throughout the rest of the day BIL son keeps coming up stating that my son is playing with a toy he wants to play with, that he keeps following him, that my son is eating candy, etc. my husband and I stay out of BIL talks with his son (none of our business).

Meanwhile, my daughter is just in her room watching tv, playing on phone, and chilling with her gifts (beading, coloring, less physical things).

Near the end of the day the cousins are playing with my son’s superhero’s and my son comes in and joins them without a toy. Instead he does a superhero move (a kick) in the direction of his cousin.

They were being really annoying!

BIL states loudly that we need to discipline our children better, and that our daughter needs to play as well and that she’s not active.

I don’t say anything but my husband reminds his brother that our daughter has physical limitations (wheel chair bound) and prefers to do art stuff.

He reminds him that if she tries to be physical like his kids it could warrant an ER trip.

No one says anything else and rest of family members clean up our house (clean up kids wrapping paper and put away food).

She was shocked at his reaction!

After everyone leaves I go tidy up kids room and that’s when I’m told by my daughter that the cousins ate my son’s stocking candy.

I complain to my husband but we decide not to do anything about it because it’s not like they come over often (1-3 times a year) and it’s not worth starting drama.

Then today I get a message from BIL today about controlling my son, to discipline him, and that they’re not coming over for a while until we fix ourselves.

I asked him why is he starting an argument. He says he’s not.

She knows she’s not in the wrong…

I remind him my son is 2, has low tolerance due to his seizure medicines affecting his behaviors, and that of course he’s going to have behaviors when he’s triggered that

1) he’s being excluded in his own home and

2) BIL kids taking his toys and eating his candy.

I remind BIL that his kids are old enough to know better and that he shouldn’t come over if that’s how he feels, that his kids are whiny as hell, and that he’s being a judgmental idiot.

I haven’t told my husband yet (he’s taking a nap with our son).

I want to tell their parents and vent about how crazy rude they were but I 100% know that’s an asshole move and won’t resort to that.

Now she’s questioning the whole situation…

I might be the AH since I essentially banned BIL family from our house and insulted his kids, escalating the situation.

I also blamed my kids’ disabilities on why they acted like they did.

So, Reddit, judge me so I can get closure on this matter.

YIKES! That sounds problematic!

Why would the brother even consider this behavior okay?

Let’s find out how people on Reddit reacted to this one.

This user finds it weird that the BIL texted her and not his own brother!

This user knows the BIL has some audacity to lecture this lady on parenting.

This user knows this lady is not at fault.

Exactly! This user knows this lady’s kid is too young to understand things!

This user finds this whole situation absurd.

Somebody’s being a bit annoying here!

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.