Just because you share a home doesn’t mean you’re not entitled to privacy.

So, what would you do if you were living with a woman and suspected that she had been entering your bedroom without asking? Would you confront her again? Or would you change the lock and see if she notices?

In the following story, one roommate finds herself in this situation and chooses the latter. Here’s what happened.

AITA for changing the lock on my bedroom in a shared apartment without my roommate’s permission?

I’ve been sharing an apartment with another woman for about three months now. We didn’t know each other well before moving in, but we had a mutual friend.

She actually asked me to move in because her previous roommate was leaving, and at the time, I was really struggling to find a place.

I had checked a lot of rooms, but either they were too expensive or just didn’t feel right. When she offered, I went to see the apartment and agreed pretty quickly.

At the beginning, she was very nice, and honestly, I felt grateful because she helped me when I needed a place.

Because of that, I ignored a lot of small things.

She would come into my room without asking, lie on my bed, walk around the apartment barefoot, and then sit on my bed with the same feet.

She also helped herself to my snacks and used my things.

At first, it wasn’t so bad, but it got increasingly worse.

A couple of times, I tried to say it lightly, like joking that I can’t sleep if someone sits on my bed, but she would just laugh it off and keep doing it.

Over time, it started bothering me more. I wasn’t trying to fight, so I avoided being harsh. But I began locking my room whenever I left the apartment. She didn’t say anything about that, but when I came back sometimes, I had this strong feeling that someone had been in my room.

I finally asked her directly if she had a key to my room. She got defensive and said I was being paranoid and imagining things, so I dropped it.

It didn’t take long for her to notice the new lock.

A few weeks later, when she went out with friends, I asked a friend of mine (who does this kind of work) to change the lock on my bedroom door. I just wanted to feel safe in my own space.

A few days later, while I was at work, she started sending me angry messages saying I changed the lock without her “permission,” that I disrespected her, and that building staff had questioned her about it.

When I got home, she immediately started yelling, saying she never should’ve let me move in and that I had no right to make changes.

Fed up, she went to talk to management.

I told her calmly that it’s my room, and I changed the lock because I didn’t feel safe. She then said she had talked to management and that I have to move out. That didn’t sit right with me, so the next day I went to the building office myself.

The staff told me she already had complaints against her from previous roommates, including bullying and theft. They also confirmed I was allowed to change the lock on my private room and that I hadn’t broken any rules.

After that, I officially filed a complaint against her. The very next day, a notice was issued to her.

Since then, she hasn’t said much to me directly, but the atmosphere in the apartment is very tense. This place works really well for me in terms of price and location, so despite the tension, I feel safer and more at peace now that my boundaries are protected.

AITA?

Wow! It sounds like the woman was definitely up to something.

Let’s check out how the folks over at Reddit feel about what she was doing.

This reader has had friends in this situation.

Here’s some advice.

According to this reader, that was her right.

This person would get a camera if possible.

She did the right thing, especially after finding out she had stolen from other roommates.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a customer who insists that their credit card works, and finds out that isn’t the case.