Imagine having a friend whose son is in a difficult situation where he has to find a bigger apartment in order for his daughter to be allowed to stay with him. If you knew an easy way to solve the problem, would you insist that the young man take your advice, or would you stay out of it?

In this story, one person is in this exact situation, and thankfully the young man’s mom talks him into listening to the advice.

Let’s see how the story plays out.

Forbid me to have a bigger apartment so that my daughter can visit me

The thing is about 13 years ago. I’ve always worked a lot in the social field. That’s how I got the following story with the son of a friend of mine.

He was in the process of getting his life under control (own apartment again, registered at the Jobcenter, Abendrealschule in the morning, …).

His main problem was his ex-girlfriend, together they had a daughter. In order to be able to have his daughter with him at the weekend, the Jugendamt asked for another room in his apartment – the Jobcenter refused the larger apartment since he lives alone.

OP knew what the young man needed to do.

In the normal way, he would never have gotten the larger apartment approved, or only after a long struggle.

He probably would have gotten into trouble with the Jugendamt, since he wasn’t trying to find a larger apartment. (that’s how authorities are)

There is one crucial trick that makes the whole system work for you:

Authority against Authority

The boy’s mother talked him into agreeing.

That’s exactly what I suggested to him.

In desperation he declined, with the usual phrases “It doesn’t work,” “It’s too complex,” etc.

Luckily his mother was there too. She persuaded him to do so.

The way to go about this was actually pretty simple.

So I have given the framework of the letter:

(simplified from memory)

Dear Jugendamt,

I am happy to accommodate the desire to take a larger apartment. Unfortunately, my case manager from the Jobcenter refused me the larger apartment.

Best regards

Son of Friend

Now, it’s all going to work out.

After writing, I drove with him to the Jugendamt and saw how he had put in the letter, it was late at night. (The rest I only know from him.)

The next morning he got a call from the Jobcenter that he could look for a bigger apartment. The letter of approval will come in the next few days.

I would have loved to have attended the phone call from the Jugendamt to the Jobcenter.

That was a smart way of handling the situation, and it sounds like it was actually pretty easy to accomplish.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

Thankfully, there didn’t seem to be a slowdown in this story.

It probably could’ve gone this way, but it didn’t.

This is a good point!

He may not have understood how to fight for her.

One letter can make a big difference if you know what to say.

If you liked that story, check out this post about a group of employees who got together and why working from home was a good financial decision.