Imagine finding out that one of your coworkers thought you were bossy. Would you be upset if they complained to a supervisor instead of confronting you about it?

In this story, one autistic employee is in this exact situation, and he is pretty upset. He’s just as upset about the complaint as he is about the task his supervisor gave him to try to remedy his bossy behavior.

Let’s read all about it.

AIO, My Supervisor Is Requiring A Therapy Type Reflection

I(19FTM) work at a mail room for students on my college campus. These students live on campus.

We also handle housing related issues since that is in our department.

I started out loving my job.

I enjoy the interesting interactions with residents. I have wonderful regulars I enjoy seeing. I have coworkers I get along with and enjoy working with.

He has a few disabilities that make work harder for him than any of his coworkers.

To provide some important context before I get into the main issue. I have autism.

I am high functioning but have issues with my volume, tone of voice, facial expressions, and phrasing things in understandable ways.

My employer knows I have autism and so do my coworkers.

I try so very hard to mask and be a good worker, but some days I am exhausted or in a lot of pain. I am physically disabled and suffer from chronic pain and asthma. I am the most physically disabled person on my team, but I do my best to be just like everyone else.

He doesn’t like meeting with his supervisor.

Every few months we have one on ones with my supervisor to see how we are doing.

These always make me nervous.

My recent meeting proved me right in this anxiety.

I was told I come off “bossy and rude” to my coworkers and need to make a daily reflection document on my communication skills.

He would rather talk about the issue with whoever complained.

I explained that this is the first I’m hearing about this from anyone and thought things were fine. I also explained I am working on my social skills the best I can and that some times I slip up. I also told them that if a coworker has an issue to please direct them to talk with me or I’ll never know what I did wrong.

I hate making people upset. I want to have the best possible relationship with my coworkers and residents.

Most the time it’s a miscommunication issue and once I clarify what I meant to say or what not things get fixed and everyone is cool.

He has a theory about what he says that might sound “bossy.”

I think what can come off as “bossy” is me asking “hey can you do __” because my disability is preventing me from doing something in the moment. Sometimes I can’t run across campus due to my asthma being bad. Sometimes I can’t handle a package due to my severe seafood allergy.

I totally understand how that can come off and will be rephrasing my questions.

My view of “Can you” is a question while others see it as “Do this”. This happens sometimes and I feel bad for not knowing how to comes off.

He talked to his coworkers about the situation.

Now, I asked two of my coworkers who I frequently work with and they said they don’t understand why I was reprimanded like this. Yeah my customer service skills can improve always, but this was so weird because they know I am autism and to just ask clarifying questions.

I also feel like I ask waaaay to mant questions because I’m still learning and I want to get things right.

I really want to do my best, but this whole situation is making me second guess how I should ask questions and interact with people.

He feels sad.

It makes me feel so sad that someone has some sort of one sided beef with me while acting totally normal with me.

My two coworkers I talked to felt this was one sided.

I am confused and want to make things right with whoever I hurt, but this feels unfair because we have someone on our team who has a very “rude” attitude.

I can understand that this isn’t actually rude because they also have tone issues and a bad RBF like I do. This feels somewhat unfair.

He feels like he’s being treated like a child.

Then being required to do this reflection thing that is very therapy like feels very violating.

I feel like I’m being treated like a child because I’m one of the youngest on my team who is intellectually disabled.

I am fully capable of being a person. I just need to know what my mistakes are. I hate mistakes and want to fix them so everyone is happy.

That sounds like a very frustrating situation. Let’s see what advice Reddit has to offer.

This person has questions and suggestions.

Another person with high functioning autism weighs in.

This person calls out the manager.

This person believes being misunderstood by neurotypical people is something OP will have to learn to accept.

It’s hard to solve a problem if you don’t understand exactly what you did wrong.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a carpenter who was shocked to find the police waiting for him after his last day of work.