It’s no secret that stepfamilies can be the source of a little friction at times. That’s completely normal, because when families come together with new adults at the helm, there is likely to be changes in rules and norms, with both the kids and the adults usually requiring a period of adjustment before things start to feel normal again.

And when other kids are involved – whether they’re existing kids in a blended family or step siblings that are born after the fact, this can drive tensions further as other feelings – including injustice and jealousy – get involved. However, with consistent, fair parenting and plenty of active listening on the part of the parent, these bumps in the road can become worn down in time.

But for the kid in this story, the situation is extra stressful. Because even though his parents split up when he was young, the subsequent loss of his mother drove him to a place where he really began to resent his stepmom and the family that she brought into his life. Of course, his dad wanted to heal things between the family – but he went about it all wrong.

Read on to find out what happened.

AITA for telling my dad he needs to let me go if he wants to stop all the hurting in his family, because I don’t want to change my feelings?

My parents’ marriage was really bad before my mom died. They were probably going to end up divorced, but instead mom had a heart attack and died when dad went to stay with his family for a while. I (male, seventeen) was ten at the time.

My dad met his wife six months later, and they got married two and a half years after mom died. My dad’s wife was pregnant at the time.

I didn’t want a stepmother or half siblings. I didn’t want my family to change. I still don’t want them.

My dad loves them and I’m fine with him having them, but I don’t want the stepfamily that comes after losing my mom. Dad knows this and so does his wife, but they have tried always to make me see things different.

Read on to find out how his father is dealing with this.

Dad has asked me if I can honestly look him in the eye and say I don’t love my half siblings even a little. I did exactly what he asked and he still didn’t believe or want to believe.

He put me in therapy but I didn’t want to work on changing how I felt.

When I was fifteen he decided we needed family therapy because everyone’s feelings were hurt that I was disinterested. The therapist asked me a few times what would make it better, and my answer was always that dad should let me live somewhere else.

Dad was against that. He said it’s not happening until I’m an adult and he can’t stop it, but as long as I’m a minor he’s going to keep me and fight for our family.

As a result, therapy isn’t really working for this family.

Unless I’m being asked certain questions I don’t participate in therapy. I sit there and listen and that’s about it.

The therapist, dad and his wife know I don’t want to work on finding a relationship with his wife and kids. They know that I don’t see them as family.

His wife has told me I’m her son and she sees me as her first child and just as much her kid as the kids she has with my dad. But I have never returned those words to her, because it’s not even true.

I lost count of how many therapists we have sat in front of, but it’s over six. None could make me want to work on this.

Still, things are getting worse and worse.

Dad’s getting more desperate and he said the hurt in the house is at an all time high. The therapist asked him what he could do to stop the hurt and he said he had no idea anymore.

That’s when I told him that he needs to let me go for it all to stop. I told him I’m not coming around and the longer he keeps me there, the more unhappy everyone else gets.

I told him it doesn’t upset me because I do other things, I make myself busy when they try to make family time happen and I skip meals with them because I don’t want to be there. And I said I’m not willing to change any of that.

And this pushed his dad over the edge.

Dad got mad and in front of the therapist he started yelling that I have put him in an unfair position because he doesn’t want to lose me. He said I’m his son and he loves me and he loves his wife and their kids too.

I told him I know. But the fact is I don’t love them too. I told him I don’t feel anything like that for them and all the therapy I’ve done with and without them has not changed a thing for me because I don’t want it to.

Dad said that it was a low blow to bring up the same thing I have said before. He said it’s not actually helping anyone and just makes things worse.

AITA?

Let’s be real: both this teenage son and his father are in a really difficult position here.

He clearly resents his father (perhaps he even things the drama between his parents caused his mom’s heart attack) along with his stepmom and siblings – even though his stepmom is doing her best.

But the issue is that they’re all trying to force him to see things a certain way. And by doing that, he’s only going to dig his heels in deeper.

If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about a teen who has spent a decade raising her younger siblings, and thinks it’s time to walk away from her family for good.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.

This person thought that the kid was doing nothing wrong.

While others took issue with the reason he was being dragged to therapy against his will.

Meanwhile, this Redditor thought that no one was really bad here.

The truth is, it has been seven years and his father needs to take another look at the situation. At this point, constantly dragging his son to family therapy and expecting the therapists to make him accept his new family isn’t working – and the truth is, it was never going to, since that isn’t how therapy works. Instead, the father needs to consider why his son is acting this way, and why he won’t settle within the new family.

All this was likely too much, too soon for his son. After losing his mom, and potentially even blaming the stress of the separation for her death, he was quickly swept up into a new family with a new stepmom and younger siblings on the way – all before he’d really had time to process his grief. Likely the grief is still sitting there within him, unprocessed even now, since his father’s idea of therapy was with an aim other than merely his son’s mental wellbeing.

Really, this kid could do to be in therapy. But therapy for his own reasons, with a therapist of his own choosing – and certainly without his dad and stepmom lingering there over his shoulder. Because he’s been through a lot for someone his age, and he needs the people around him to support him, not force him into situations he doesn’t want to be a part of.