It is not uncommon for mother-in-laws to offer parenting advice. Sometimes it is done to be nice, and other times it is more overbearing.

What would you do if your mother-in-law kept popping in unannounced and telling you how to do things, which really rubbed you the wrong way.

That is what was happening to the mother in this story, and she finally got sick of it. So, she went off on her mother-in-law and rudely made her leave the house, and now she is being told that she was out of line.

This is a difficult situation, because it is easy to see why she did what she did. It is also a good idea to try to get along with your in-laws if you can. Read through all the details below and see what you think about the situation.

AITAH for telling mother in law if she comes over unannounced she can’t comment on what we should/shouldn’t do?

So, earlier around 8pm or so after we got comfortable and got ready to watch a movie, my (30f) mother in law comes over UNANNOUNCED.

I can see how this would be very annoying.

She did this even though she knew my toddler (3) is sick (my mother is currently over helping watch him since I’ve been really tired and sleepy from waking up meeting his needs etc.

I prefer my own mother since she doesn’t comment on what we can can’t watch/do, etc around our kid.

Well, none of those things seem bad.

For context: my mother in law is a strict Jehovah witness along with her husband. She doesn’t like swearing, raised my husband to be a certain way that fits her image of a perfect son who isn’t disrespectful, avoids conflict, doesn’t swear, etc etc

I honestly hate the way she raised her kids so I promised myself I won’t raise my son in the same way.

Coming over unannounced is rude.

There are times she’ll come over and pray with my son over dinner I don’t have anything against it and even smile as she does sometimes. I honestly find it cute when my son says amen but if it was another mother I know they’d be pissed.

Anyway, today she came over unannounced, even husband (31m) was confused and said “why did you come without telling us? Like you could’ve let us know….” Etc

They can speak to her anyway they want in their own home.

She gets offended like “you don’t speak to your mother like that….”

She then asks what we’re doing. I say yeah look thanks for bringing the fruit but we’re just about to watch a movie… ” “What movie?” “Thriller movie”

What movies they let their son watch isn’t really her business.

She goes “oh, hope ___(toddler) won’t watch that”

I’m like “ok well he will be in the room so it’s only our business.”

She goes on again about something so I’m like “if you’re gonna come over unannounced to our place please don’t comment on what we can and can’t watch. He is allowed to watch whatever we allow him to.” He wasn’t really gonna watch, just be in the play area while my mother occupies him.

Well, it is good that she is going.

So she gets offended at that and says “ok I’ll go”

My mother tells me I was so rude and she goes “it’s ok I’ll just go she doesn’t want me here ….” Guilt tripping etc

Being told what to do is difficult for some people.

I honestly hate that in always painted out to be the bad guy and maybe I could use a nicer tone but I HATE being told what to do. I honestly think I might have like ODD or something.

One time at a park when we were all out together, she tells a random kid to stop climbing up the slide the wrong way and to stop putting sand over the slide as it’s “not safe” and uses her “I’m a primary school teachers assistant” excuse.

I think her mom is right in this case.

I told her don’t comment on other people’s kids it’s weird and creepy. The mother comes and goes “no sweetheart, don’t listen to the lady you can play however you like”

I felt so bad I was like “yes let the kid play however he’s not being a problem” and I apologized to the lady

It is easy to see why she doesn’t get along with her.

Like my mother in law doesn’t know when to quit. I may be out of line.

But this lady makes me uncomfortable to breathe around. I am always walking on eggshells, putting things on to make her satisfied whenever she does come over.

She better find a way to get along with her mother in law.

How can I honestly stay calm under these situations with people this insane?

AITA?

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Well, I can see why she finds her mother-in-law abrasive. Coming over unannounced is really not something that people should do, but I also think that she is overreacting a bit. She needs to learn to get along with her in-laws, even when it is difficult.

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Let’s take a look at what the people in the comments have to say about the situation.

I agree with this commenter. The husband should be stepping in.

Now this would be funny.

It is her home and her child. The mother-in-law has no say.

I don’t think she has ODD either.

This person thinks the mother-in-law is in a cult.

It is always good to question your judgement, but in this case, it seems clear that her in-law is out of line. Stopping by and telling a mother how to parent is never a good idea.

The mom should also have a conversation with her husband. He should be the one putting a stop to his mother’s bad behavior.