Pexels/Reddit

Borrowing a car should be a pretty simple transaction: gas it up, return it in decent shape, say thanks. This guy did all three, plus a whole lot more nobody asked him to sign up for.

What started as a temporary vehicle loan between friends slowly morphed into a recurring babysitting gig, one that was explicitly framed as “short-term.” But soon it stopped feeling that way at all.

Two months in, he finally asked the obvious question: is this still temporary? The answer came back as a full-blown accusation that he was ungrateful and a “user.”

Suddenly he feels like he’s somehow in debt for life over a borrowed van.

You’ll want to keep reading for this one.

AITA for not wanting to be a built in babysitter for others?

I (34M) am a single guy and don’t have kids so spend a lot of my free time alone.

I have close friends and a sister that have kids and I don’t have issues with kids at all, in fact I enjoy being around my extended family kids cause I’ve been around them since they were babies and have great memories.

He sets the scene for the conflict.

So my friend Kayla (35) and her boyfriend Stu (38). A few months ago I had vehicle issues.

I relied on my friends since they had an extra vehicle that wasn’t being used, they offered it to me to help me out since mine was being worked on.

This guy thought the deal was well ironed out.

The day when I picked it up all was good and the conditions were clear. “You don’t need to pay for insurance or anything, just help when you can. Obviously gas when you need it, and let me know if issues arise.” Is the gist, but it was pretty much that of just help when you can.

He tried his best to hold up his end of the bargain.

Cut to a couple months, whenever they needed it I would help. Watch kids, come over, engage with them, let them know if issues did arise, and always kept fuel and fluids topped off.

Returned it once my vehicle was repaired with the same amount of gas as what was in it when I got it.

Well, during this time I was asked if I could watch the kids let’s say third week of the month on Wednesday evenings so Stu could do his work meetings.

Here’s where things started getting dramatic.

Now here comes the tricky part, he told me that this wasn’t permanent and if they could get some time to work out a schedule with her schedule they would take care of it, just needed a hand. I did. I did it for two months thinking no issues.

Well now here it is going to get dicey, let’s just say their relationship was rocky this last go around and I didn’t like what I saw, so it did put a strain on me about going over. So I was just figuring that out.

Well, when I was bringing up what Stu brought up to Kayla, she forwarded my text messages to him and blew this whole thing up.

Stu was now very unhappy with him.

He accused me of being a user and how dare I not watch the kids anymore after all they’ve done for me. I also should be willing to help them after all they’ve done for me.

If it helps, Stu does drink and can act out of place with it, but only adding that to maybe less villainize him cause I understood that and not excusing it, but I think it helps paint a better picture.

He doesn’t think he deserves this level of animosity.

I also want to mention while borrowing the van I was routinely thanking them for the assistance like, “You guys are life savers for this.”

Anyways, I’m sitting here wondering if I’m the AH for just asking my friend, “Hey, I thought this was a temporary thing,” or should I just suck it up and be in debt for life for them since I got vehicle help for a few months.

Maybe Stu and Kayla aren’t as good of friends as he thought they were.

What did Reddit have to say?

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There’s a certain point where a favor starts turning into an unfair obligation.

This commenter thought the scales were pretty much even, all things considered.

This user finds themselves in a very similar situation.

If he’s going to babysit, he should at least be paid for it.

Temporary arrangements are supposed to have an expiration date, even a loose one. Two months in with zero movement on a schedule isn’t temporary anymore, it’s just become the new normal.

This guy held up every part of the original deal: returned the van in the same condition, kept it fueled, showed appreciation the whole time. That’s not the behavior of someone trying to weasel out of an obligation.

Favors have their limits, and this one got stretched way too far.

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Author

Benjamin Cottrell

Benjamin Cottrell | Assistant Editor, Internet Culture

Benjamin Cottrell is an Assistant Editor and contributing writer at TwistedSifter, specializing in internet culture, viral social dynamics, and the moral complexities of online communities. He brings a highly analytical, editorial voice to his reporting on workplace conflicts, malicious compliance, and interpersonal drama, with a specific focus on nuanced stories that lack an obvious villain.

As a published author of rhetorical criticism, Benjamin leverages his academic background in human communication to dissect and elevate viral social media threads. Instead of simply summarizing events, he provides readers with balanced, deep-dive commentary into why the internet reacts the way it does. In addition to his cultural reporting, he is an experienced fine art photography essayist and video game reviewer.

When he isn’t analyzing the latest viral debates, Benjamin is usually chipping away at his extensive video game backlog, hunting down the best new restaurants, or out exploring the city with a camera in hand.

Connect with Benjamin on Instagram and read more of his essays on Substack.